The Compass of Erised
by Loyal Eskamoe
Summary: The Scoobies go on the hunt for a legendary compass.
1. Meandering About

Willow sat across Xander at the airport cafeteria. They had just landed in New York after an 18 hour flight from Japan. The two of them ended up having to fight a vicious oni, the japanese version of an ogre, that was guarding the Kusanagi. The Kusanagi is the legendary sword belonging to the storm god, Susanoo. Giles had come across a reliable tip regarding the whereabouts of the sword, and dispatched the duo to retrieve it. The oni guarding it, had other plans. Hence the fighting. It was not a fun time, and the two of them were tired. The last thing they wanted to do was wait in an airport for some stuffy-assed Council flunky Giles told them to meet.

"Do you think they'll send anybody we know?" Willow asked.

Xander shrugged then yawned. "As long as they don't send Andrew."

Willow frowned. "He's not that bad." She defended. Xander gave her a look. "Okay, he's a geek in the worst possible way, but he knows how to make a mean soufflé. And he's even better with computers than I am."

"Who was it that managed to hack into the Pentagon's computer systems?" Xander wondered aloud.

"I used magic. If I hadn't, there would've been no way I'd even get close to doing that."

Xander looked dubious. "And Andy could?"

Willow shrugged. "He'd get closer than me."

"Whatever." The topic had ceased to be interesting. Xander moved on to better and brighter things. "What do you think Jessica Alba looks like naked?"

Willow thought for a moment. "A naked Jessica Alba." She concluded.

"Ah. Good call Will." Xander smiled dreamily as he pictured it.

Willow chuckled at his expression. "I'm more of a pre-Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes kinda gal."

Xander nodded sagely. "That Dawson was one lucky guy."

"Actually, I think she ended up with Pacy." A familiar voice said.

"BUFFY!" Willow and Xander exclaimed simultaneously.

Buffy smirked. "Hey guys, miss me?"

Willow leapt from her seat and enveloped the slayer in a bone-crushing hug. "Duh."

After Willow let go, Xander grabbed Buffy in a big bear-hug and twirled her around.

"Xander!" Buffy screeched laughingly.

He put her down, smiling. "What are you doing here?"

A wonderful thought occurred to Willow. "Ooh! Ooh! Are you the one we're meeting?" She asked excitedly.

Buffy smiled and nodded, causing Willow to squeal happily and hug her again.

Xander yawned. "As fun as greetings are, I don't suppose we can retire to more comfortable and vertical..." He trailed off, realizing what he was about to say. "I'm really tired, and as happy as I am to see you Buff? I won't actually care about the why until I get some sleep in me."

"Xander!" Willow admonished. "We haven't seen her in months!" She hit him in the shoulder.

"OW!" Xander glared at her. "Yeah, but she'll still be here in the morning!" He turned to Buffy. "You will be here, right?"

Buffy laughed. "If it's okay with you two."

Willow nodded eagerly. "Of course it is! The...the very thought of it not being okay is to be laughed at and shunned!" She grabbed Buffy's arm, linked it with her own, and led the slayer towards the exit. Xander followed. "You can sleep with me."

The one-eyed adventurer stumbled upon hearing the invitation.

"Problems Xand?" Buffy asked innocently.

"Lech." Willow smirked.

He gave them both the finger.

-

Unfortunately for Xander's happy fantasies, Giles knew full well who they were meeting and arranged for a third room in the hotel they were to be staying at. It was a waste of money, at least for that first night.

Despite Xander's earlier complaints of weariness, the three friends stayed in his room catching up and reminiscing. They didn't fall asleep until way past dawn. Deeming their rooms too far away, the girls opted to crash with Xander in his. They pushed the poor man out of his bed, (Xander had already fallen asleep.) and told him to go to the couch. He made it about halfway before deciding the floor was good enough.

-

Xander was awoken by the sound of laughter. He blinked a couple of times, then accidently rubbed his cheek in the puddle of drool that had accumulated during his rest.

"Yuck."

He staggered to his feet in a blurry haze. He then looked around to see what was so funny. Xander smiled. Buffy and Willow were laughing it up on the couch. It was nice to see his girls having fun. Will had broken up with her girlfriend recently and it wasn't pretty. She'd really started to fall for this chick and decided to tell her she was a witch. Unfortunately, the lady couldn't handle it. And so, Xander was forced to put up with mopey and sad faced Willow.

"Hello ladies." He greeted cheerily. "And how are my two precious blossoms this good morning?"

Buffy snorted in amusement. "Fine. You?"

Willow grinned. "Yeah! Mr. Drooly McDroolDrool."

"Okay, next time you sleep on the floor, and I'll stay in my bed." He snarked back.

Willow just waved off his comment and returned to her conversation.

-

After they'd all showered and dressed, the trio went down to the cafeteria for breakfast. Willow and Xander had just finished telling Buffy about their most recent adventure, and were now explaining their newest assignment.

"So soon? What about resting? That fight with the oni sounded pretty rough."

Will's face clouded over briefly, but quickly turned upbeat. "It's fine Buffy, we just feel as though we should keep busy for right now." She smiled teasingly. "Also, we need to make sure we take advantage of some slayer backup while you're still around to be taken advantage of."

Xander leered at Buffy and waggled his eyebrows.

"Oh grow up." Willow chided him with a swat on the arm. Buffy laughed. She was really glad to be back with her friends.

"Don't worry. I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon. Giles got Principal Wood to take over slayer searching for me."

Xander frowned. "Why are you still calling Rob, "Principal Wood?"

Buffy got a really disturbed look on her face. "I don't know."

Willow rolled her eyes and pulled out her laptop. "Getting back to the topic on hand, the next object we want to find is called, "The Compass of Erised. Or just, "The Compass" for short."

Will did a little typing. "It's supposedly one of the few items created by the Endless."

"Endless. You mean immortals?" Buffy asked.

Xander shook his head. "Nope. Immortal implies you're alive."

"Jeez. Vague much?" Buffy responded in mild disgust. "Since when did you get annoying like that?"

He grinned. "Since I found out how much fun it is."

Willow took pity on Buffy. "The Endless are supposedly the..." She paused, looking for the right words. "...physical embodiment of stuff." Buffy gave her a confused look. "Sorry, it's just hard to explain. Info on the Endless is really, really rare." She frowned and focused on her computer.

Without missing a beat, Xander took over. "Basically, they're supposed to actually BE what they represent. Or they rule it. Or whatever." That explanation didn't help at all and it showed on Buffy's face. "There're seven of them?" He looked to Willow for confirmation. She nodded without looking away from her computer. "Right. Seven of them. Death, Destruction, Despair, Desire, Destiny, Dream, and, and... "

"Delirium." Willow finished for him.

"Right! I always forget that one."

"Okay, so what's with the compass?" Buffy wanted to know.

Willow answered her question. "Basically, all the info we have on the Endless comes from one text. On it, it spoke of several tools they use in doing their jobs. Like for example, Dream's got some sand that he uses for stuff that wasn't made clear in the text. But hey, magic sand."

Buffy's eyebrows shot up. "Ooh, like the Sandman?"

Willow nodded, pleased Buffy caught on so quick. "Yep. Giles and me agree most of the old legends referring to the Sandman, sometimes known as Morpheus, goes back to Dream."

"Cool. Does he pour it in your eyes and send you off to Dreamland like in the stories?"

"Y'know, I asked that same question." Xander observed.

Willow smiled at her best friend. "And I'll tell her the same thing I told you." She turned back to Buffy. "My theory is that he's sorta the janitor of dreams. Like he maintains them and stuff."

Buffy nodded. Made sense to her. "So he made the compass too?"

"No. We think Desire did."

"Why?"

Xander smirked. "What's, "Erised" backwards?"

Buffy thought for a second. Her eyes lit up. "Desire!" She grinned. "Did you figure it out all by yourself? Or did you have help?"

Will answered for him. "Nope. He did all alone." She pretended to wipe a tear away, and patted her friend on the head. "Our little Xander is getting so smart!"

Xander waved the praise away. "Aw shucks, twernt nothin."

Buffy returned to the topic at hand. "So Desire made the compass." She frowned. "What's it do? And why is the name backwards?"

Willow answered. "Desire also made a mirror called, "The Mirror of Erised." The compass wasn't actually named. So me and Xander decided to name it after the mirror cuz "Erised" sounds really cool."

Xander spoke up. "As for what it does, oh Buffy mine. Instead of pointing north like a real one, it points to nothing less than your heart's very own desire."

Buffy's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Willow grinned. "For example. Maybe you want to find, say, an old boyfriend with platinum blonde hair that deserves a good punching, the compass will point you in the direction he's at. No matter what he's doing to hide from you."

Buffy sighed. "Actually, we've talked."

"Was there punching?" Willow asked.

"Or maybe a well deserved ass kicking?" Xander offered.

"Nay on both fronts." Buffy shrugged. "We talked. Look, we're not here about Spike, let's get back to the compass, okay?"

"Okay. Like I said, the compass will point to whatever you want the most at any given time." Willow reiterated.

"Making it very useful to a couple of treasure hunters such as ourselves." Xander concluded, grinning at the possibilities.

"Very nice." Buffy was impressed. "So where is it?"

Xander's grin faltered. "Um, Florida?"

"Florida's kinda big Xan, maybe you could narrow it down some?"

Willow pulled up the wanted poster of a pirate. "This is the last known person to possess the compass. Captain Jack Sparrow. He was wanted for a whole list of crimes. Some of them were pretty outlandish too. Anyway, his last know location was in Florida, so we're heading there."

Buffy nodded. "Anything to go by? Or are we just gonna go and see what we can find?"

The redhead smiled. "Nope. I got us a contact. He's a historian that specializes in pirate lore. His name's William Turner."

-

Florida, Miami to be exact, is where Willow's source resided. William Turner was a elderly gentleman of about seventy. He possessed an air of good humor that was immediately endearing. The Scoobies were currently gathered in his den.

"I was named for an ancestor of mine." The old man said. "He wasn't well known, at least outside of Port Royal, the area he grew up in, but he was a noted friend to Jack Sparrow."

"That's the pirate-y guy, right?" Buffy asked.

Willow was studiously taking notes, Xander was walking around looking at all the historical memorabilia, and Buffy was doing her best not to fall asleep. Hence the question.

Mr. Turner chuckled. "Yes. He was indeed very, "pirate-y." But you already knew that Ms. Summers, otherwise you wouldn't be here."

Buffy blushed a little. "Sorry. Me and history have a long standing arrangement of avoidance."

Willow frowned disapprovingly at that statement, but Mr. Turner laughed. "I suppose a young woman such as yourself wouldn't find the past too fascinating. But that shouldn't stop you from learning it."

"Yeah Buff." Xander admonished playfully. "You need to focus more."

Buffy whirled around in her seat, outraged. "You were the only one in the ENTIRE SCHOOL that did worse in history than me!"

Xander pointed to a very old pistol that was displayed in a glass case. "That's a Royal Navy Sea Service pistol, right?" The old man grinned and nodded. Buffy looked shocked. Xander continued. "It's the East India Co. version. You can tell by the shorter barrel, only nine inches. The East India Trading Co. shortened the barrel from it's traditional twelve inches so they could be more effective against boarding parties." Xander told Buffy smugly.

Mr. Turner laughed. "Quite right young man. Quite right. Where did you learn that?"

Willow smirked. "He only knows that because he saw the Russell Crowe movie with the boats."

Mr. Turner laughed again. "If I remember correctly, the information your friend provided isn't ever mentioned in the picture." He smiled approvingly. "Which means he sought it out willingly." Willow and Buffy didn't have an answer to that. Mr. Turner gave Xander a conspiratorial wink.

"Now that that's out of the way, let's return to the subject at hand." He pulled out a piece of old looking parchment and laid it out on his desk. The Scoobies gathered around and looked over his shoulder. "According to this map, the last known location of Sparrow was in Florida. You know this much already, but what you probably don't know is what he was looking for there." Mr. Turner pointed on the map.

They all read what the map said, but Willow was the one to shout in surprise. "The Fountain of Youth!"

The old man smiled. "Bingo. Ol' Jack went looking for it. Feared death he did. Wanted to postpone it anyway he could."

Xander's mind boggled. "If he had the compass, he might've actually found it!"

"Oh wow." WIll breathed. "What if he's still alive? The things he must know! The stuff he could tell us about pirating!"

Buffy put her hands on her hips. "Since when have you wanted to shiver some timbers?" She asked, smiling.

"I meant from an historical standpoint, of course." Willow replied haughtily.

Mr. Turner hadn't laughed so much in years. He liked these kids.

-

It was a couple of hours later and Mr. Turner had invited the trio to stay for dinner. He was bar-b-cueing up some grub, while Willow and Xander went over his documentation. Buffy helped with the cooking the best way she could. She sat to the side and chatted amiably with the old man.

"So how long have you been researching pirates?" She asked.

"All my life, it seems like." He answered. "When I was a boy, my granddad used to tell me stories about my namesake's adventures." Mr. Turner paused to smile. Buffy looked into his eyes and she could see the passion he still possessed. "And he told me about the Pearl."

"There're pearls?" Buffy asked. She liked pearls.

Mr. Turner chuckled. "Sorry, I was referring to a pirate ship. The Black Pearl." He sighed reverently. "It was supposed to be the fastest ship in the seas. It outran Royal Navy vessels, other pirate ships, and there was even a rumor it outran the mightiest ship of them all." His voice was smooth and hypnotic. Buffy was on the edge of her seat.

"Which one? Was it the Constitution?" She asked excitedly.

He laughed. "The Constitution?"

Buffy shrugged embarrassedly. "I dunno. It was the only one I could think off."

Mr. Turner laughed his big booming laugh. "Well, I'm sure the Pearl could've outrun it had she needed to." He flipped over some meat on the grill. "But no, I was talking about the Flying Dutchman." He smiled sinisterly. (For him, which wasn't really sinister at all.) "It's captain was none other than Davy Jones himself." He said impressively.

Buffy sat up. "The locker guy?"

"The very same!"

"Get out!" Buffy exclaimed in disbelief.

Mr. Turner scratched the back of his head.

"I would dear, but this is my house." He said wryly.

The blonde rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. I thought "Davy Jones' locker" was just an expression."

He gave her a knowing look. "Would it be so hard to believe if it wasn't?

"I guess not." Buffy admitted with a shrewd look of her own.

-

"Xander, take a look at this." Willow was looking at a worn and old device displayed behind a glass case. It was flat and had drawings and writings all over it. It looked like it could be some sort of puzzle, and the circular patterns on it appeared to form a map.

"Whatcha got Will?" He wandered over to his friend.

"What do you think this is?" She pointed to the device.

Xander looked at it. "Don't know. Some kinda puzzle maybe?" He noticed something. "Whatever it is, it was torn out of something." He pointed to the ripped edges.

Willow frowned. "Why didn't I notice that?"

"You're just getting old."

"You're three months older than me." WIllow reminded him.

Xander shrugged. "Never said I wasn't getting old too."

She sighed. "We should ask Mr. Turner about this. The drawings are chinese in design and the text looks like it could be mandarin."

Xander didn't see the relevance. "So?"

Willow frowned, trying to read it. "It's not complete, but I think it says something about a, "spring of life." She finished with a pointed look.

"Ah." Now he understood.

-

Dinner was a rather casual affair. Mr. Turner, it turns out, was a terrible cook. He burned all of the food he was trying to grill and had to resort to ordering chinese.

"Sorry about this." He apologized over some house fried rice.

"Dert werry aboo-it." Xander assured him through a mouth full of beef teriyaki.

Buffy scrunched up her nose. "Ew. Swallow first Xan."

"Shawy."

"Mr. Turner?" Willow began. "Xander and me were wondering..."

"Xander and I." Mr. Turner corrected.

She blushed. "Right. Xander and I were wondering if we could take a look at that circular puzzle/map thing?"

He broke out into a knowing grin. "I see you've found Sao Feng's map."

Willow nodded.

The old man sighed. "I've never been able to figure out the text. It does however mention something that might be what old Jack was looking for when he disappeared."

"The spring of life." Willow concluded

Mr. Turner raised his drink in salute. "You got it." He leaned back in his chair with a satisfied air. "I knew I liked you kids."

-

Over the next few days, the gang returned to Mr. Turner's house to study the map. Willow was able to glean some idea regarding the whereabouts of the mythic fountain. Meanwhile, Xander and Buffy poured over any and all available text about Jack Sparrow and his compass. Mr. Turner's help had proven to be invaluable as he was able to give a unique insight into the histories and legends surrounding the pirate and his ship.

The history of the compass itself, was varied and mysterious. Sparrow had stolen it from a church in Spain were it had resided for decades. No-one knows exactly how it got there. Some of the legends say it was delivered by a pale man. Some claim it was a woman. One person said the compass came into being simply by his wishing it there.

Yet, despite the conflicting reports, one thing remained constant. They all say the compass was stained with blood when it arrived. Leaving it safe to assume it's story goes further back. What that story was, nobody knows.

After the Scoobies felt they'd learned all they could from Mr. Turner's collection, they said farewell to the old man and promised to keep him apprised of any new information.

-

Willow consulted the copy of the map she made. It came complete with turnable circles and everything. The gang was deep in the everglades of Florida. And they were lost.

"We're not lost!" Willow assured. "We're just not... positive, exactly, of the position we're at."

Xander leveled a glare at her. "I'm pretty sure that's the textbook definition of lost, Will."

Buffy let out a surprisingly girly shriek, and , just as surprisingly, leapt behind Xander.

"Huh?" He said in confusion. "What?" He too started to jump around. The only difference was, he didn't know what to be scared of. "Is it a demon? It's a demon!"

Buffy cringed. "A demon I can handle! Look!" She pointed to a huge python that was slithering near them. The thing was at least 300 lb. and easily 20 ft long.

"Snakes. I hate snakes." Xander quoted.

Willow watched it go on by, then turned to Buffy with a smirk. "The Great Slayer, spooked by snakes. Hah!" The redheaded witch felt something brush against her feet. It was a tiny little frog. Willow screamed and kicked the thing off of her boot.

Buffy opened her mouth to say something smug, but was stopped by a glare from Willow.

Xander rolled his eye. "Now that the required amount of comedy relief has been reached, can we get on with the treasure hunting?"

Still shaken with her terrifying encounter, Willow turned her attentions back to the map. "We need to head north." She pulled out her compass and walked.

Buffy and Xander looked at one another, shrugged, then followed her.

-

Evening was fast approaching. The compass was still unfound, and there was no sign of any pirates or mythical water. Willow paused to consult the map. Xander and Buffy stood a short distance away.

Buffy was getting grumpy. "Y'know, this wasn't what I expected when Giles told me you guys were treasure hunters. I thought there'd be more "Indiana Jones" and less "Crocodile Hunter."

Xander smiled. "C'mon Buff, Indy did just as much wandering as we do. It's just Lucas and Spielberg always cut that part out for some reason."

"Probably because it's boring." Buffy grumped and swatted a bug. "And the bugs! So many bugs. Why didn't you warn me there'd be this many of them?" Xander shrugged unhelpfully, causing Buffy to pout. She looked ahead to where Willow was standing.

"What's she doing anyway?" The redhead wouldn't respond to any questions, she was so focused. Xander shrugged again. Buffy resumed pouting. "Fat lot of help you are today."

"It's all wrong!" Willow exclaimed suddenly.

"Wrong?" Xander was startled. "What's wrong?"

"Only everything." She said despairingly as she walked towards them. She held out the map and pointed to a passage of text. "There was supposed to be a building or a construct here, where we are, but there isn't!"

Buffy looked around. Nope. Nothing but swamp. "Maybe it got swept away by a hurricane or something."

Willow shook her head. "The passage says, "The spring of life will not be found by those with natural eyes. One must wait for the coming of the light and dark to see." See?"

"No." Buffy and Xander replied simultaneously.

She sighed. "I thought, "light and dark" meant dawn and dusk, but it's not."

"So what is it?" Xander asked.

"I don't know." She admitted. "But if you move the circles like so, it becomes a completely different passage!" She fiddled with the circles a bit. "Look! Now it says something completely incomplete!"

Xander and Buffy blinked, clearly not understanding.

"What are you trying to say?" Buffy asked.

Willow stared at the map dolefully. "I think we're wasting our time." She looked at her friends. "It's in some kind of code and I don't know how to read it."

-

"Yeah Giles, I understand. No. Yes. Okay. Bye." Xander hung up the phone. The Scoobies were back in their hotel rooms trying to figure out their next move. Willow and Xander have been on the phones all day talking to Giles and Mr. Turner. Unfortunately, the latter had nothing more to offer. But Giles, once again, came through.

"He says there's been mention of a magic compass in the Dalthezar Codex." Xander sighed. "Of course, He doesn't know where we can find a copy of it, so..." He trailed off and collapsed into his bed. Buffy was in his room watching TV. She had been with Willow before, but was kicked out because the redhead wanted to work in peace.

"I wish I could help." She said, feeling useless. "I tried, but Willow yelled at me, so here I am." Buffy gestured around the room. "Maybe this whole, "helping you guys", thing isn't going to work out." The slayer said sadly.

Xander looked up at the tone and saw the forlorn expression Buffy was wearing. He walked over to his friend and smiled.

"I'm not smart." He started with, prompting Buffy to open her mouth in protest. He continued on before she could say anything. "I'm not saying I'm stupid, but books aren't my thing. Because of that, I felt useless for a long time. I thought Will would've been better off getting a watcher to help her out. Someone like Rob who'd be able to watch her back AND be book smart. Then Kentucky happened."

"What was in Kentucky?"

"Me and Will were looking for a particular scroll that was supposed to be located in some mausoleum there. We didn't know which one, but we were definitely in the right area. We stayed there for months looking for this thing. Long enough for it to be cheaper for us to actually rent an apartment instead of staying in a hotel."

"Wow. Long time."

He took a deep breath. "Yeah. It was also long enough for Willow to meet someone." Buffy raised her eyebrows in surprise. Xander nodded. "Yep, and she was a good match for her too." He sighed. "Except for the whole freaking-out-beyond-all-belief-when-she-found-out-Willow-was-a-witch thing."

"Ouch." Buffy winced. If you replace "witch" with "slayer", it was the same thing she had to deal with.

"So yeah, Willow's been sorta miserable since then."

Buffy thought back at their interactions. "She's kinda been throwing herself into the work, not that that's anything new, but she hasn't seemed too depressed to me."

"That's because ever since you showed up, Will's been smiling more. Actually laughing even." He chuckled a little self-depreciatingly. "Which is more than I've been able to get out of her. Despite my best efforts." He frowned. "I think she's getting used to me. Either that or my material's getting old, Whatever. The important thing, Buffy, is you're helping her."

Xander looked her in the eyes. "You can relate to her in that girlie way. Which again, despite my best efforts, I can never do. Yeah I help. Just being there for her is good, but I can't be there like you can."

Buffy shook her head. "But she hasn't said anything to me. If she wanted me to be all commiserating and helpful, shouldn't she have said something?"

He shrugged. "Just because she hasn't yet, doesn't mean she won't. Give it time. Willow will come to you." Xander smiled. "You're her best friend."

"And what are you?" Buffy asked dryly.

"A guy. And thus, not the one to talk to about relationship problems."

"Bull. You've helped me out a million times with my boyfriends."

"Yes, but how many of those times did you actually do what I suggested?"

"All of them." Buffy said confidently. He gave her a look. "Mostly." She amended. "And I didn't stab Angel like you wanted." She frowned. "Not then anyway. Look. The point is, you're the go to guy on guys." She smiled warmly at him, he smiled back.

"Yeah, but Willow likes girls."

After a beat, Buffy blinked. "Oh. Right."

-

It was a few hours later. Xander and Buffy were in Willow's room informing her of the Dalthezar Codex.

"I've heard of it." Willow immediately began looking for it on her laptop. "Here." She read aloud. "The Dalthezar Codex was written in 1826 by Arthur Dalthezar. In it is the written history of the varied artifacts that have changed the course of destiny. Among them are: The Philosophers Stone, something called a Choppy-eye? I don't know what that is. The Witchblade, and Desire's Compass." She finished triumphantly

Willow looked back at her two friends, smiling.

"Choppy-eye?" Xander asked, bewildered.

"Well, why don't you take a look and see if you can read it." She responded defensively.

He did. He couldn't. So there.

"Any idea where we can find Dalthezar's book?" Buffy asked.

Willow looked down at her laptop. "The Watcher's Council had a copy. Until one of the watchers defected to Wolfram and Hart. He took the codex, and a bunch of other books, with him when he left." She sighed. "That's probably why Giles was familiar with it."

"But why didn't he tell Xander Wolfram and Hart has it?" Buffy wanted to know.

Willow read on, crestfallen. "Oh no."

"What?" Xander asked.

"The watcher guy took it to the LA branch."

"You mean the one Angel took over then destroyed in a violent and effective manner, only to go missing in the process?"

Willow nodded. "Yep."

Xander sighed. "Great."

Buffy said nothing, a pensive look on her face.

-

Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all affiliated characters were created and is owned by Joss Whedon. The Endless were created by Neil Gaiman and is owned by DC comics. Pirates of the Caribbean is owned by Walt Disney.


	2. LA!

The sun was setting over the ocean. Buffy walked along the beach, covering herself with her arms. It was a little chilly, and she was wearing only a simple sun dress.

He came from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned into his shoulder, relishing his warmth, and caressed his face.

"Angel." She murmured breathlessly. "I missed you."

She could hear the smile in his voice when he responded. "I missed you too."

Buffy turned around to kiss him, but he wasn't there. "Angel?"

Her beach was littered with corpses, bloody and cold. Among them, friends long gone. Her mother. Children, women, men. All dead.

"This is what happens when I try, Lover." Angel said from beside her. His voice was cavalier, derisive, as he looked at the devastation he has wrought. "Next time I won't bother."

She turned to him. "What? Angel, how can you say that?"

He grabbed her throat. "Easy."

-

Buffy woke with a start. Hell, after a nightmare like that, she's lucky she didn't wake with a blood curdling scream. She rubbed her face tiredly. The nightmares have been coming for a while, and all the recent talk about Wolfram and Hart wasn't helping any. Ignoring them hasn't worked, (Not that she thought it would, but a girl could hope.) so now it was time for sharing. She'd talk to Xander about them. Willow had enough on her mind right now. The last thing she needed was to be bothered with Buffy's petty concerns.

-

Xander opened the door to his hotel room and stared sleepily at Buffy. "It's 5 in the morning. Unless you're here for a booty call, I'm closing the door."

"Wait! Please?" She tried using puppy eyes on him, but he expected that tactic and was staring resolutely at ceiling.

"No." He began closing the door.

"I've been having nightmares about Angel!" She blurted. Xander sighed and let her in.

"I'm really sorry about this." She told him sincerely as they sat down.

He waved off her concern. "No big. Though why you don't wait until the sun comes up, I'll never know."

"I don't want Willow to worry."

"Okay, I guess I will know. But let me just say. What I said about the two of you being girls? I meant that. She'll get you better than I can. If you don't want to add your problems to Willow's, you might wanna try Dawn instead."

Buffy shook her head. "Dawn's not here. Plus she really doesn't want to hear ANY of the details."

Xander took a deep breath. "Right. Lay it on me Buff."

So she did. She told him the details of that night's nightmare, and of the other ones she's had. All of them featured Angel in an unforgiving, or repentant, or miserable light.

"It's like I can't decide if he's guilty, a victim, or a jackass." Buffy lamented.

"You don't think these are Slayer Dreams, do you? I mean, Angel is supposed to feature pretty heavily in, "The Apocalypse" right? If he's missing, maybe this is the Powers' way of getting you to find him."

Buffy shook her head. "I don't think so. The scrolls of Abercrombie didn't ever mention him by name. They just talked about an ensouled vampire."

"You think they were about about Spike?" Xander asked in surprise.

"I think they were about Angel. Until he disappeared." Buffy said sadly.

"Why bother looking for one champion, when you've got another just waiting to fill his shoes? Man that sucks!" Xander said, disgusted. He chuckled sardonically. "I don't even like the guy, and already I feel sorry for him."

He looked at Buffy meaningfully. "So what are we gonna do about it?"

The slayer gave her friend a grateful, if a little teary, expression. "I suppose we should start in LA. While we're looking for Dalthezar's codex, we ask around about Angel."

"Good plan. I'm going back to bed now. Wanna join me?" He grinned hopefully.

Buffy rolled her eyes, amused, then left.

-

Willow was focused intently at her laptop screen. As such, she didn't notice Xander creeping up behind her. Buffy looked on with mixed feelings. On one hand, she should show female solidarity. On the other hand, funny was funny. Who was she to interrupt?"

Xander pulled out a fairly large rubber spider and lowered it in front of Willow. He did his best to keep quiet, but it was so damned hard! His valiant efforts were proven worthwhile a full minute later when Willow finally noticed the thing.

"GHYAAAAA!" She leapt backwards in her chair, sending paper and pens flying. Xander caught her, then started laughing hysterically after seeing her shocked expression. Meanwhile, Buffy had to lean against the door frame to keep from falling, she was laughing so hard.

It took Willow a couple of seconds to realize what happened, but when she did...

"XANDER!" She shrieked and got to her feet, glaring hard enough to melt his face. Grinning like a loon, Xander held out the rubber spider and wiggled it a little, causing Willow to glare even harder. Evidently Xander has no self-preservation instinct, because the moment he saw her face, he broke out into a fresh set of hysterics.

Willow snatched the spider from his hands and smacked him in the head with it. Buffy actually fell on her ass laughing. She chased him around the room for a bit, but soon noticed her other best friend reaping the benefits of Xander's evil, yet suffering none of the consequences. Willow threw the rubber spider at Buffy and because the slayer was blinded by tears of amusement, it whacked her on the nose.

Buffy said "Ow!", but continued laughing. Xander poked his head out from under the table, only to dodge another attack from the irate redhead.

"I surrender!" He shouted as he ran away. "Buffy save me!" He jumped behind the still laughing woman.

"I can't!" She gasped. "My sides hurt too much!"

"Some help you are!" He said, panicked, and threw her to Willow.

She looked at the uncontrollably giggling blonde for a moment before tossing her aside and rampaging forward.

"Alexander Lavelle Harris, you get back here!"

"Oh god!" He looked from side to side. He was trapped! Xander grimaced determinedly. He had one last desperate gambit.

Xander dashed forwards, INTO the arms of the hurricane, and proceeded to tickle her.

"Xander!" Willow shrieked again, this time with laughter, as he mercilessly ran his fingers up and down her ribs. "I'm gonna kill you!"

Deciding now was the time for female solidarity, Buffy tackled Xander off of Willow and straddled him to keep him from fleeing.

"Traitor." He muttered up at her.

She smirked impishly. "Sorry."

It took Willow a few moments to catch her breath. When she did, there was a look of anticipation on her face that was illegal in twelve states AND Puerto Rico.

Xander gazed upon that expression and knew fear "C'mon Buff," he pleaded, "don't throw me to the wolves here. Gimme a fighting chance."

She grinned. "Weren't you the one who tossed me at her?"

"Yeah, but you're a slayer." He reasoned.

Willow looked down at her hapless, yet deserving, foe.

She smiled.

"Hi Will." Xander said nervously. "So what's up?"

She knelt down next to his head and looked him straight in the eye.

"I'm going to get you back Xander. You won't know when, and you won't know how. The only thing you WILL know is just how badly I did it." She smiled sweetly at him. "You can let him up now Buffy."

Buffy got to her feet. "So whatcha got for us Will?" She asked brightly.

"Three tickets to LA and reservations at the Hyperion."

"What?"

"I thought it would be kinda fitting to stay there."

Xander stood up and brushed himself off. "I thought the Hyperion was condemned?"

Willow shrugged. "Some guy bought the place and restored it. It's more than just a hotel now though. It's a nightclub too."

-

A day later, the Scoobies walked into the lobby of the Hyperion. Willow was surprised to see how little had changed. It looked the same as it did when Angel was living in it. Except for all the guests lounging about of course. They went up to the receptionists desk.

"Hi." Willow greeted. "We reserved some rooms? Under "Rosenburg"?"

The receptionist smiled. "Okay." She typed the name into her computer. "Uh, There's a message for you. From management." She got up and went to the mail boxes.

Willow frowned and glanced back at her friends questioningly. Buffy and Xander shrugged. Why would management leave them a message? The only logical answer was, said management knew them.

The receptionist returned and handed them an envelope along with three keycards. "Here you go. The Champion suites." She smiled. "Finest rooms in LA."

Willow looked confused. "Um. We didn't..." Buffy elbowed her. "Ow!" She glared.

Buffy took the keycards and the envelope with a smile. "Thanks."

They picked up their things and headed off towards the elevators.

"What was that for?" Willow asked, huffily.

"Yeah Buff, we didn't reserve those rooms. Unless you did."

Buffy shook her head. "Nope. But hey, if they wanna give us the best, who are we to argue?"

Willow rolled her eyes. "Cordelia much?" She asked in distain.

Xander shook his head in exasperation. "What does the note say?" He asked after a moment.

Buffy opened it and read aloud. "I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of upgrading your rooms for you. Champs such as yourselves ought to have the finest we've got. Enjoy the fruit baskets. Signed, Your Host. P.S. The cherries are to die for!"

"So they do know us." Willow said in fascination.

"Yeah but who is it?" Xander asked.

Buffy pulled three invitations from the note. "We'll find out at 9 o'clock."

-

The suite was, in a word, opulent. There was a communal living room with a state-of-the-art LCD TV and sound system that gave Xander fits of joy when he saw them. From the ceiling hung gorgeous chandeliers, Much to Willow's delight. (She has a secret love of them.) And last, but certainly not least, some of the comfiest couches Buffy has ever sat in. It was almost like melting into a puddle of relaxation. And of course, we can't forget the actual bar that was off to the side. It had stools and everything!

Their rooms were, if possible, even more comfortable. The beds were huge! And you seemed to want to drift off to sleep just by laying on them. The closets were walk in, which was of no concern to Will and Xander, but Buffy seemed pleased by it. Each room also had a large-ish TV and a mini-fridge almost bursting with food and drink.

After the Scoobies finished settling in, they met up in the living room.

"Anything?" Buffy asked Willow.

She shook her head. "Nothing. The rooms are clean."

"Wow. That's honestly surprising."

"Hey! You guys gotta try these cherries! They ARE to die for!" Xander stated happily as he munched down on his fruit basket.

The girls looked at each other and giggled.

-

Several hours later, the gang decided to check out the nightclub before they met up with whoever sent those invitations.

"How do I look?" Buffy asked when she came into the living room. She was wearing a blue halter top, with an elegant dragon pictured on the front, leather pants, and black high-heeled boots.

Xander gave out a slow whistle and Willow pantomimed fanning herself.

"Looking good Buff." He said appreciatively.

She beamed. "You're not looking too bad yourself." He wore a dark green button down shirt, a brown belt, brown cargo pants, and tan boots.

"What about me?" Willow asked excitedly, striking a pose. Xander was thrilled. He knew Buffy would bring Willow out of her funk. She hadn't been this involved with anything other than work since she broke up with her girlfriend.

"You look very pretty." Buffy told her sincerely. She had on an adorable pink blouse with a jean-jacket over it. She completed her look with a matching jean-dress and sandals.

Buffy grinned. "Now what say we go out there and turn some heads?"

"You got the invites?" Willow asked. Buffy nodded. "Then let's."

The girls linked arms and Xander opened the door for them.

"After you ladies."

-

The club was like any other club they'd been to. Fun and loud, but not much more than that. Willow was only allowed one drink, as the other two didn't want her too tipsy before making their appointment. They danced a bit, with each other, with other people, and basically had a good time.

9 o'clock rolled around and the Scoobies made their way towards the back of the club to the "invitation only" room, where a bouncer waved them through after they showed him they were indeed invited.

The first thing Buffy noticed, was all the demons. They were everywhere! Sitting at the bar, sitting in the lounge, and singing on stage?

"There's something you don't see everyday." Xander commented as a Thesolo demon belted out a surprisingly beautiful rendition of "Sweet Child of Mine" by Guns and Roses.

"Oh my god." Willow breathed as realization kicked in.

Buffy, who was seriously curbing her slaying impulse, turned to look at her.

"Care to share?"

Before Willow could say anything however, a green skinned demon with tiny red horns on his head and dressed in the gaudiest, yet still tasteful, purple lounge suit the world has ever seen walked up to her.

"Willow, you little mimsy, c'mere!"

"Lorne!" Willow threw herself into his outstretched arms. "Oh my god!" She repeated.

Buffy cleared her throat.

Lorne looked at Willow's companions up and down appreciatively. "And who are your devastatingly beautiful friends?" His eyes widened as he recognized Buffy. "Wait a tic, this one needs no introductions." He took Buffy's hand and kissed it gently. "It's an honor to meet you my dear, and may I say "thank you" for all those times you saved our collective heinies." He finished with a chuckle and a charming grin.

Buffy was completely taken aback. "Umm. You're welcome?"

The green-skinned demon turned his attentions to Xander. "And this must be Xander." He shook his hand. "Cordelia never talked about you, but I could tell what a positive influence you had on her." He leaned in and said in a stage whisper. "Although I never realized you were this handsome!"

"Uhh. Thanks?" He scratched his head. "Wait. You knew Cordelia?"

Lorne's smile became sad. "It was my indescribable pleasure to have known the indelible Miss Chase."

Xander smiled back. "Yeah. She was that all right, if nothing else."

Buffy goggled at a Slevloth and a Slovleth making nice with each other. The species were not exactly known for their tolerance of one another.

"Why aren't they trying to kill each other?" She wondered out loud.

Lorne happily answered her question. "Well my blueberry-Buffin, that's because I've put up a no violence spell around the ENTIRE hotel."

"Oh, cool." Buffy nodded in approval. Then she frowned and mouthed the word "Buffin" with a quasi-disgusted expression.

Xander and Willow merely smirked and resolved to call her that as often as they could get away with.

The Thosolo's song on stage was winding down, and Lorne took the slayer gently by the arm.

"Listen, I've got to go talk to Degnak the Deviant up there, why don't you three mouseketeers take a seat and I'll be right back. Hey, and feel free to order anything. It's on me." He gave them all a fond smile and was off.

"He seems nice." Xander said as they sat down.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. Especially for a demon. Heck, he's nice for people."

WIllow looked back to where Lorne and Degnak were speaking. "He's such a sweetie." She turned back to her friends. "When Faith got doped up on that Orpheus crap and was in another coma, he held her hand and serenaded her." She told them with a sappy expression.

Buffy looked around at the various demons she wasn't slaying. "It's weird. I see them, yet I don't want to slay them. I mean, I do, but I don't, y'know?"

Xander gave her a funny look. "No, I don't know. I'm just glad they aren't interested in slaying us."

A waiter came up and gave them some menus.

"Why is that anyway?" Buffy asked as they deliberated on what to order. "I mean, yeah, anti-violence spell, but that wouldn't take away the bad blood."

Xander shrugged philosophically. Willow was busy trying to read the demon language dishes.

The waiter came back and the Scoobies ordered their food.

A Lourat demon took to the stage and began a spirited, if awful, rendition of "Hey Jude" by The Beatles.

Lorne sat down next to Willow. "And what did you get my little Willow-tree?" She giggled and told him the cheesecake delight. The Host gave her a big toothy grin. "Heck yeah! You deserve it Honey. What about the rest of you heroes?" Xander got a steak and cheese sub and Buffy a Caesar salad.

Lorne called a waiter over. "Hey Larry, be a treasure and bring me an Incredible Hulk, would you? I've got a gamma sized thirst!"

He turned back to the Scoobies. "So what can I do for you cats today?"

They looked at one another in confusion. "You did invite us, right?" Willow questioned hesitantly.

The green demon chuckled. "Of course I did, but you're all here for a reason, am I right?"

Xander and Buffy exchanged a pregnant look, one that did not go unnoticed by Willow. She decided to ignore it for the moment and asked Lorne if he knew anything about Desire's compass.

"You know how I roll, Red. I gotta hear those pipes sing." He reminded.

Willow's face paled. "Pipes? Sing? No. Bad."

Lorne gave her face a tender stroke. "C'mon beautiful, what've you got to be afraid of?" He nodded his head in direction of the stage. "Go on. Dazzle us."

Willow blushed beet red and ducked her head. "I don't like to sing. Even when we had that musical that one time, I only had a couple of lines."

He smiled. "Maybe you'll change your mind if you're friends go up with you?" He grinned hopefully to Buffy and Xander, who both looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

Xander laughed nervously. "To sing makes your hearing bad."

Buffy just shook her head frantically.

Lorne sighed, disappointed. "Then I guess I can't help you."

-

As the night progressed, the three Scoobies imbibed much alcohol. Not enough to actually get on stage and sing, but enough so that Buffy was boasting about being a slayer to a bunch of equally drunken demons. Lorne managed to keep the peace by treating everyone, except Buffy, to a round of drinks.

Xander, who hadn't had nearly as much as the others, enlisted Lorne's aid in bringing his friends back to their rooms. He carried a staggeringly drunk Buffy in his arms, while Lorne piggy-backed a sleeping Willow.

"Y'know, this isn't what I imagined when I said I'd help you." Lorne complained good-naturedly. "Not that I mind, per se, but our little Willow's not so little."

Buffy giggled drunkenly. "Y'called Willow fat. Sheez not gonna like it." She looked up at Xander as if she only just realized he was carrying her. "Hey! I can walk y'know." Buffy squirmed a bit.

He just shrugged and set her down on her feet. Buffy staggered and crashed into the wall. "Okay, 'parently not so much." Xander sighed and pulled her into a fireman's carry, bringing her face to face with Lorne. "Hi Lorne!" She greeted cheerily.

"Hello." He greeted back, just as cheerily. "Feel like gracing us with a song?"

"Yur tryin ta trick me." Buffy told him seriously.

"Well you're right about that." He conceded gracefully.

"That's okay, I forgive you."

"Y'know Buff, It might behoove you, in the future, to not drink so much next time." Xander said as he tried to get his keycard out.

"I had fun." She said sleepily.

"You sure did." Lorne agreed. "You had fun all over my lounge floor." He chuckled. "It's going to take poor Randy all night to clean that up."

Xander continued on as if everybody was listening to him. "I'm just saying, carrying you? Not good for the back." He opened the door and headed for the couch. Lorne followed him.

After they placed the sleeping girls on the couch, Xander covered them in a blanket. He smiled fondly as he gazed down at them.

"Buffy's been having nightmares." He told Lorne.

Lorne, who had moseyed over to the bar, gave Xander a piercing look.

"Shouldn't that be something you keep to yourself?" He asked pointedly.

"They're about Angel."

Loren didn't reply immediately, he just fixed himself a drink.

"Then you definitely shouldn't say anything." He sipped his beverage. "Whatever's going on in that pretty blonde head of hers is none of our business unless she makes it our business."

"I promised I'd help her find him." He turned to the demon. "I only opened with her nightmares because I wanted an easy segue."

"Into what? As if I didn't know." Lorne polished off his drink and poured another. "Hit me hero."

Xander looked down at his girls, opened his mouth, and began to sing.

"_I took a walk around the world to_

_Ease my troubled mind_

_I left my body laying somewhere_

_In the sands of time_

_I watched the world float to the dark_

_Side of the moon_

_I feel there is nothing I can do_

_I watched the world float to the_

_Dark side of the moon_

_After all I knew it had to be something_

_To do with you_

_I really don't mind what happens now and then_

_As long as you'll be my friend at the end_

_If I go crazy then will you still_

_Call me Superman_

_If I'm alive and well, will you be_

_There holding my hand_

_I'll keep you by my side with_

_My superhuman might_

_Kryptonite_

_You called me strong, you called me weak_

_But your secrets I will keep_

_You took for granted all the times I_

_Never let you down_

_You stumbled in and bumped your head, if_

_Not for me then you would be dead_

_I picked you up and put you back_

_On solid ground_

_If I go crazy then will you still_

_Call me Superman_

_If I'm alive and well will you be_

_There holding my hand_

_I'll keep you by my side with my_

_Superhuman might_

_Kryptonite"_

When he was done, Lorne clapped his hands softly.

"Wonderful! You, my friend, have a secret talent."

Xander blushed. "So, uh, so what did you...?"

Lorne refreshed his drink. "Sit down." He gestured to the stool next to him. Xander sat. "Let's start with the easy one first. The compass. You wanna find it, but you don't know where it is. That book you guys are after is the right path. If I were you, I'd start with old friends. Things they might've left behind. Things they might've given to friends and," Lorne paused meaningfully. "...family."

He finished off his drink and poured himself another. He stared at it morosely for a second. Lorne glanced up at a concerned Xander. "Heh, don't mind me, I only get like this all the time."

"Anything I can do?" Xander asked.

The demon shook his head. "Don't worry about it. If I could live with my mother, I can live with this." He raised his glass in salute.

"Now. About the other stuff." Lorne started, setting his glass down. He looked at Buffy. "Do what you can for her. She's going to need you, both of you really, but you especially."

"Why?" Xander asked, alarmed.

Lorne shook his head, apologetically. "Sorry kiddo, I can only tell you what I tell you. The rest is up to you." He gave the young man a friendly pat on the shoulder, and left.

Xander stayed up and thought about what was said, and what wasn't.

-

"You sang?!" Willow stared at him, shocked. "What happened to singing making the hearing bad or whatever?"

Xander shrugged. "We needed info."

"So what did you learn?" Buffy asked. The three of them were sitting in the living room. The girls had showered and changed, but Xander was still in the same clothes he wore last night. He hadn't slept and it showed.

"The Dalthezar Codex is what we need to find the compass."

"We already knew that." Willow pointed out.

"No. We knew the codex mentions the compass, but we had no idea if it would lead us to it. Now we do."

Buffy was staring at him shrewdly. "So what else did Lorne tell you?"

"Huh?"

The slayer rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Don't play dumb Xander. If all Lorne talked to you about was the codex, then why were up all night?"

Willow nodded. "Yeah! You only stay up all night when you're depressed. Or worried. Or there's an apocalypse, which I suppose would be cause for both worry and depression. There isn't an apocalypse is there?"

"Not that I know of."

"Okay fine. That leaves worried or depressed." Willow put her hands on her hips. "So which is it buster? Fess up."

Xander let out a wry chuckle. "I guess I can't hide anything from you two, huh?"

"Nope." Buffy told him.

"Damn right." Willow agreed.

"Then I confess. Our generous host did indeed speak to me of other things."

"And?" Buffy asked, after a few moments, when it became clear Xander wasn't going to continue.

"And what he said was between me and him. If you want your very own psychic reading, you'll just have to sing."

Xander gave a sarcastic, though not mean, bow and went to bed.

-

Later, after he'd gotten some sleep, Xander joined Willow and Buffy as they researched the history of the Dalthezar Codex.

According to Willow, after he wrote the codex, Dalthezar gave it to a friend of his in the, "Les Domestiques du Destin", or "Destiny's Servants." As the name implies, they were a group that felt as though they served destiny. Whether they meant Destiny of the Endless, or destiny in general, was unclear. And ultimately, unimportant.

What they needed to know was who had the book before the Watcher's Council, and what happened to it after it was stolen from their library. The book remained in Les domestiques du Destin's care until it was stolen in 1935 by a, "vampire master who's visage was more terrifying than the devil's."

Willow chewed her lip nervously. "D'you think it could've been The Master that took it?"

Buffy shuddered as she remembered the only demon to have ever killed her.

"I don't know. Maybe." She read the passage. "1935. Two years before he got trapped in the hellmouth."

"It's too bad." Willow reflected. "If Sunnydale didn't ker-implode!, we might've been able to find some clues. It was The Master's last known location after all."

Xander looked at her funny. "He lived on top of the hellmouth."

"So?"

"Were you gonna search above, or below, the scary-beyond-belief Seal of Danzelthar?"

"Huh." Willow frowned. "Dalthezar and Danzelthar sound an awful lot alike. You don't suppose there's any connection, do you?" She asked of her two friends.

"God I hope not." Buffy said. "It would truly suck if the thing we're looking for was evil."

Xander closed his book with a thump, prompting the girls to look at him sharply.

"Here's what we're gonna do." He began decisively. "Willow, you look into the possible connection between The Master and the book. Buffy, you and me are gonna hit the streets to see if anybody's knows anything about it's current location."

His directions were met with stares. "What?" He asked nervously.

"When did you get all leader like?" Buffy asked. Willow nodded in agreement with the question.

Xander scratched his head, embarrassed. "Sorry. Lorne said we should look for the book by "starting with old friends" and I think that might mean the Master. But if it isn't, me and you should start other avenues of inquiry."

The girls exchanged a look. It was better than anything they've come up with.

"Sounds like a plan." Buffy said.

Willow smirked. "Yeah, but only 'cuz you said "inquiry"." She told him, then went to work.

-

Buffy gave Xander a sidelong glance as they walked the dark streets of nighttime LA, and because she was standing to his right, he caught it.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing." She rolled her eyes and grinned at her own silliness. "It's just... You're different, but not. Y'know?"

"Okay." Xander replied, clearly not knowing.

"You're still you, but a grownup you." She clarified.

"Willow said the same thing." Xander shrugged. "Guess my manliness has finally overcome my boy-ness."

"Willow also threatened to kill you because you scared her with a rubber spider." Buffy reminded him.

"Heh. Point. Oh look, we're here." They stopped in front of what was, basically, a demonic convenience store. The place sold parts. Organic parts. Animal and other kinds that weren't so animal. It also had a small selection of dangerous books as well as similarly dangerous objects and ingredients.

Buffy pulled out her sword and smiled predatorily.

"Good."

-

Vallard has had a good existence. Being a Moordenaarin demon he, of course, had no moral qualms about the slaughter and selling of humans and their organs. As such, he was able to make a nice little life for himself catering to the needs of the depraved in LA. (Or at least his little corner of it.) The business was doing well, he was making a tidy profit, which in turn allowed him to branch out a bit. A few mystical totems capable of submitting a human unto your will here, a couple of tomes capable of summoning spirits and demonic presences then binding them to your will there. There was a lot in Vallard's shop that involved the binding of will. It was a nice way to get revenge on your enemies and lure dinner into dark and secluded areas. (Not that demons needed too much help with that. Humans just love to walk down alleys.)

Of course, everything changed as soon as THE Slayer showed up. THE FREAKING SLAYER! Not one of the newbies, someone his bouncer, a Grappler demon, (Very efficient at his work too.) could've handled. No. He had to have the one slayer in all of history that was able to close a goddamned hellmouth!

Vallard watched as the blonde haired bringer of death walked into his shop, hopped over his counter, and jabbed a sword under his neck.

"Hi." She said cheerfully. "I was wondering if you can help me find something?"

Tony, the Grappler, bellowed a mighty roar and charged the slayer from behind. She actually rolled her eyes! The slayer whipped her sword around, (Almost taking Vallard's head with it!) and sliced Tony's neck.

The bouncer stumbled back and clutched his neck as blue blood streamed freely from it. His foe readjusted her grip on her weapon and was about to charge, when suddenly Tony let out a shrieking wail of agony.

"Take that!" Vallard heard from behind his (almost) former employee. The Grappler whirled around and swung his massive fist. There was an axe imbedded into the poor demon's back.

"Yow!" Cried his second attacker, a human with only one eye, as the creature jumped away from Tony's wrath.

"Xander!" The slayer shouted in worry. Excellent. She is concerned for the well being of this human. Vallard could use this. The slayer continued her attack on Tony and Vallard used her distraction to his advantage.

The demon hurried to his more expensive stock and selected a potentially lethal device. It was the prototype of a weapon created by the legendary Toth. It's purpose was to lessen the strength of a mystical being and, in all probability, kill a normal one. Vallard smiled evilly as he took aim at the battling slayer's friend. Soon she would die! Then he could charge demons admission for the opportunity to shop at the store where her final stand took place.

Xander froze as the demon aimed it's weapon at him. The first thing that ran through his mind was that he would never live this down.

"Slayer!" Vallard yelled. Buffy decapitated Tony and then turned to face him. She paled gratifyingly as she took stock of the situation.

"If that thing goes off, I swear you'll regret it!"

Vallard swallowed. He was hoping the slayer would've stopped BEFORE killing Tony. He wasn't exactly a strong demon, you see, and the ex-Grappler would've been a most reassuring presence.

"Put down your sword!" He demanded. Buffy did.

A full minute passed and Vallard said nothing else. His eyes, all three of them, were darting back and forth between the slayer and her friend.

"Well?" She asked, getting impatient. The human male had begun leaning against a fairly expensive statue of Ba'al, a bored expression on his face.

"I'm thinking! I don't exactly have experience with this sort of thing!" The demon admitted.

Xander smirked. "Well in that case..." He charged.

"Xander!" Buffy charged as well, but she was too slow. In his panic, Vallard pulled the trigger of the weapon, striking Xander in the chest.

Everybody stopped in their tracks as the one-eyed adventurer looked down at his glowing torso.

After another minute passed, the glow faded, leaving no trace in the apparently unaffected human. He looked at the slayer and shrugged.

"I guess not."

She turned her attentions to Vallard with a truly terrifying expression. She stormed up to the quivering demon.

"I was just going to ask a couple of questions and leave, seriously." She said at his doubtful expression. "But now you're gonna die. The only questions now, are: How soon? And by what?"

As Buffy did her thing, Xander picked up the weapon that Vallard used on him. He read the description.

"Ah crap. Hey Buff! This thing was built by Toth!"

"What? Really?" The slayer turned to her captive and punched him in the face. "What's it do!"

"Nothing!" The demon recoiled as Buffy raised her fist to strike him again. "It was supposed to lessen a mystical beings power, that's it!"

"Then why did you aim it at Xander!"

"I thought he was a warlock or something!" He flinched when Buffy broke the wall next to his head.

"Are you lying to me?" She asked dangerously. "Because if you are, I'm afraid I can't be held accountable for my actions." The slayer leaned in close. "I don't like being lied too. It makes me angry."

"Oh, I know this one!" Xander piped in. "You wouldn't like her when she's angry." He said in an equally dangerous tone. Buffy smiled.

"All right! It was supposed to kill normal people, but obviously it doesn't! Please don't hit me again!"

"I won't." The demon sagged in relief. "If you tell me everything you know about the Dalthezar Codex."

The demon's eyes, all three of them, widened in recognition. Buffy slammed him against the wall.

"What do you know?"

Meanwhile, Xander was rummaging through the rest of the store. There was an engraving. Some kind of ritual was depicted on it. He did his best to read the language underneath it. It looked like some kind of ancient latin. The ritual looked like something that he and Willow had seen before when they were in England. He took the engraving and placed it in his pocket.

He moseyed on over to where Vallard was now telling Buffy where she might find someone who might know where the book is.

The slayer nodded her head. "Listen carefully. I have only one last question to ask, and it's by far the most important one you will ever hear. Where's Angel?"

Vallard began to shake in terror. "The vampire?" She nodded. "I don't know! We haven't heard anything from him in months, years even! Everybody thinks he's dead! Except..." He paused thoughtfully. "There's been rumors about a vampire fighting a cult of sorcerers. One of the sorcerers that managed to escape said there was something off about the vampire that attacked him. It could've been a soul."

"Where do I find this sorcerer?"

The Moordenaarin demon a truly regretful expression. She would not like what he has to say and it would most definitely mean his death.

"The Destroyer killed him."

-

"Kryptonite" was written and is owned by Three Doors Down.


	3. The Life of Reilly

"The Destroyer, huh?" Willow sighed into the phone. "Doesn't exactly induce fluffy feelings of comfort."

"I think that's the idea. I'm getting to it, relax!" Xander told an increasingly anxious Buffy.

"Getting to what?" Willow asked warily.

"Do you remember the Toth demon?" Willow didn't respond. "Are you nodding into the phone again?"

"No, and that's not the issue!" She said quickly. "Why are you asking about the Toth?"

He steeled himself for the worst. "Well, I..." Buffy snatched the phone from Xander before he had the chance to finish.

"He got hit by another one of their weapon thingies!" She glared at him like it was his fault.

"AGAIN?" Willow shrieked.

"I know!"

"Are there two of him? Is he hurt? Is he dying? Omigod! He's dying! No wait. He can't be dying, right?"

Buffy gave Xander the once over. "He doesn't look like he's dying."

"I feel fine. Tell Willow not to worry."

Buffy relayed the message, listened to the response, then hung up.

"She says you're not fine, and she wants us to head back to the hotel so she can do some kinda diagnostic spell. One that you were familiar with?"

Xander nodded grimly. "Yeah. Not looking forward to that."

-

"OW! This hurts!"

Willow rolled her eyes at the prone form of her best friend. "It wouldn't if you'd just sit still."

"Liar! The hurting started the second we did! And why do I have to be on my stomach?"

"Because that's how the spell works. Now shut up and let me figure out what's wrong with you."

Xander glared at her and swore he saw the tiniest of smirks on her treacherous face. When she shut her eyes in concentration, the magic resumed it's invasive, but thorough, search.

He remembered this spell from when a contact in Toronto was cursed by a rival wizard. It took six hours to diagnose the symptoms. Hopefully, this wouldn't take as long.

Xander winced as he felt the magic run through his body.

-

Once the spell had started, Buffy knew she wouldn't be much use. So, after securing a promise from Willow to be notified the second she knew anything, Buffy went out into the streets of LA to pick up where she'd left off.

She needed to find The Destroyer, the Dalthezar Codex ... and Angel.

Not necessarily in that order.

Wouldn't it be nice if she met one magic snitch that was able to tell her everything she needed to know about all three?

Buffy cleared her head, then walked into the Hang 'Em High. It's one of the seedier demon bars on the waterfront and the place where Vallard said there might be someone who knew about the codex.

The few patrons in the place didn't so much as blink when she walked through the door. Buffy frowned. Clearly she was loosing her touch. The slayer walked up to the bartender, a Flouronic, and asked about any bookish types that frequented the bar, but the demon was not cooperating.

"It's a shame." Buffy told it.

"What you mean?" The demon asked, taking the bait.

"This is a nice place." She lied. "Do you own it?"

The Flouronic narrowed it's eye at her. "Why you want to know?"

Buffy grinned. "Because if I'm going to decimate a place, I want the owners there to watch. It's only polite."

The demon laughed. "Little girl like you could not smash bar!" It's amusement vanished when it looked into Buffy's face and saw her expression.

The slayer raised her fist up high, then brought it down with tremendous force, ruining the bar and sending splinters everywhere.

Her eyes widened comically. "Whoops!" She gave the quivering demon an insincere apology. "I guess I don't know my own strength. So," Buffy leaned in close, "about that book?"

"Y... you slayer?" It asked timidly.

"THE Slayer."

"From hellmouth?"

Buffy nodded, and the demon told her what she wanted to know.

"Is demon that reads a lot, you're looking for. He be coming in on Thursdays and Fridays at seven pee-emm."

"Where can I find him now?"

"Don't know." Buffy raised an eyebrow in disbelief, shook her head sadly, then raised her fist again. "I swear it! Don't know! Name never told! I just see him sit and read! He be knowledgeable! All demons go to him for information!"

"If he's that popular, then how come you don't know his name?" Buffy asked.

"I never go! I like not knowing! It blissful, like they say."

The slayer reached over the counter and pulled the Flouronic close. "So who has gone to him?"

-

Buffy kicked in the door to her new informant's lair. The resident screeched in surprise and fear. It reached out and grabbed a stained baseball bat with a nail through it and held it out like a sword.

"Who are you? What do you want?"

Buffy walked in, slapped the bat away, and slammed the demon against the wall.

"I want a name."

-

The tea was terrible. That was the last thought that went through Ulrich's mind before the absolute terror gripped him. It was difficult, really it was, to be an intelligent demon. One had to deal with all kinds of idiots and bastards in order to get what one needs. Gaining a reputation as a reliable source of information was just an unfortunate side effect. At least, that's what it seemed like when the Sunnydale Slayer sat down at his table.

"Hi." She greeted cheerfully. "How's the tea?"

-

Buffy walked into the hotel suite and plopped down tiredly on the couch. Willow was still performing the spell, and as such, offered no greeting. Xander however, was only too happy for any distraction from the mind numbing boredom, that wasn't from stabbing magical pain.

"Buffy! I'm so glad to see you! You would not believe how much fun this isn't. So, how did it go?" She looked at him for a moment, then shrugged. Xander raised an eyebrow. "Is that a good shrug or a bad shrug?"

"I found out who has the book."

"Great! Who?"

"I'll tell you later. How much longer is that," She waved her hand in his general direction, "spell gonna take?"

Xander grunted as the magic momentarily flared.

"I dunno. But I hope it's soon. I've had beatings that hurt less than this."

Buffy stared at Willow in consideration. "Can she hear us?"

"Nope. She's in what's affectionately known as a trance."

"You don't say." Buffy said wryly. "I'm gonna go take a shower and watch TV."

"Hey wait!" Xander cried out desperately. "You can't just leave me here alone like this!"

Buffy smirked. "Sorry Xan. I guess you'll just have to make your own fun."

-

Two hours later, Willow was still in her trance, and Buffy was getting impatient.

"All right, listen." She told Xander. "I was waiting for you guys to be done so I could get some backup, but this is taking way too long." She pulled out a business card from her pocket and left it on the coffee table. "This is the place with the book. When you're finished, call me. If I don't answer, assume I need help, okay?"

"No it's not okay." Xander said seriously. "If you think it's gonna be that bad, I don't want you going in there alone." Buffy smiled fondly at him while she packed an over the shoulder bag full of stakes and knives. He sighed. "You're completely ignoring everything I'm saying, aren't you?"

"Pretty much."

"I figured."

-

The place was just your average, run of the mill, two floor office building. There was nothing remarkable about it, save for what was inside. The Slayer stood in front of the door, her hands trembling. She was angry. And scared. If this place was what she thought it was, what she hoped it was, then fine. If not? Well, that's where the anger comes in.

Buffy took a steadying breath, then opened the door.

-

Xander stretched languidly, while Willow flopped on the couch in exhaustion.

"So what's the verdict Doc?" He asked his friend.

She smiled back. "You know perfectly well what the verdict is. If there was something wrong, do you really think I'd be sitting here doing nothing?"

He shrugged, looking down at the card Buffy left behind. He picked it up. His eye widened in surprise.

"We gotta go."

Willow gave him a confused look. "What? Why?" He wordlessly handed her the card. Her confused expression quickly turned to shock, then concern. She got up and grabbed her coat.

-

The first thing Buffy noticed, was how normal the place looked. Like it's exterior, there was nothing hinting at it's significance. The room she had entered was some kind of receptionist area. There was a desk at the far wall, a door to what looked like an office behind it, and some battered couches for people to sit in. Buffy looked around the room. She spied a bookshelf behind the desk and headed over to it. There it was, the Dalthezar Codex! Buffy grabbed the book.

"Excuse me." A male voice said from behind her. He must've come from the other office. "Those books are for employees only."

She put the codex down to look at the speaker and take his measure. He was in his late teens or early twenties, stood 6 ft, roughly 200 lb, with brown hair, blue eyes, and had a lanky body.

He fidgeted a bit under her gaze. "Um... Is there...? Can I help you?"

Buffy crossed her arms. "I'm looking for someone." She said evenly.

"Yeah? Okay." He went over to the desk and pulled out a notepad. "Can you give me a description?"

"I think there's a misunderstanding." Buffy stated, much to the young man's confusion. "I'm not here to hire you."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Where's Angel?" Buffy demanded without preamble.

His eyes narrowed. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah, I suppose I did." He crossed his arms as well. "Who are you?"

"A friend."

He frowned quizzically. "Of his?" She nodded. "Sorry, I can't help you."

"Why not? Aren't you a private investigator?" Buffy asked snidely.

"That's what it says on my license." He sneered. "But I can't find him. Believe me, I've tried." The young man recognized which book Buffy was looking at. "So what's a girl like you want with Dalthezar's codex?" He asked dangerously.

"I was gonna steal it." Buffy admitted shamelessly.

He snorted. "Nice. Look, I appreciate the honesty, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave."

Buffy picked the book up and put it into her bag.

His fists clenched, and he crouched subtly, poised to attack. "That's mine! Put it back!"

"Tell me what you know about Angel first!" Buffy demanded. "Why are you calling this place Angel Investigations!"

"That's none of your business!" He said hotly. "Give me my book and get out!"

"Not until I get some answers!"

He glared at her. "Fine."

Faster than humanly possible, he crossed the room and grabbed at Buffy's bag. But she was prepared for something like this, and punched him aside before the bag came off.

His speed was a relief. Buffy was hoping that this was some kind of demon. She was getting worried when the kid came in and her spidey-sense didn't go off, but no one human could move like that. Immediately after hitting him, the Slayer followed up with a left, then a right, putting enough force into her blows to fell any demon.

Buffy was stunned by a sudden, and vicious punch to her chin. She stumbled back, and her opponent was on her in an instant. He was everywhere! It was like fighting a master vampire. It was all she could do to deflect the kid's attacks. This was a demon that knew how to fight!

Buffy grinned wildly, relishing the contest. It's been too long since she's had to fight this hard! The kid was good to be sure, but already she's noticed a flaw. He keeps favoring his left side, like he's hurt it recently. Perfect. She stayed on the defensive while waiting for the right moment.

He managed to get a couple of good licks in. Buffy slowed down to allow even more punches through her defense. The idea was to let the kid think he was winning, let him get overconfident. Unfortunately, Buffy thought as she got walloped across the face, this particular plan did contain a few drawbacks.

Whatever. The Slayer shook it off. This demon was going down! His using Angel Investigations as a name might've been a coincidence, if not for the fact he's been handing out the same business cards that Angel used. There was no way she was going to let Angel's mem... his business be abused like that!

The kid launched a lethal kick at her. Buffy grabbed his leg and yanked it forward, throwing her foe off balance. She followed up with a fast and brutal elbow into his tender left side. He grunted in pain and Buffy backhanded him across the face before he could recover, knocking him down.

This guy was good! He went down, but was able to roll back into a fighting position. He realized, after getting hit in the side, that Buffy was playing him, and kept his distance.

"Are you a slayer?" He asked after a few minutes.

She smirked. "THE Slayer."

Buffy was a little disappointed when he failed to react in shock and fear at that revelation. Then she was confused when he held out his hands placatingly. While that was a little more expected, he didn't seem afraid of her at all. In fact, he was flat out staring at her in unafraid!

She squirmed a little while he considered her. Buffy was about to open her mouth for a witty, yet caustic remark, when he slammed his fist into his palm in realization.

"You're Buffy!" He exclaimed. "You used to date Angel!" Incredibly, the kid started laughing. "Oh my God, I don't believe it!"

Buffy put her hands on her hips. "Wanna clue me in on the joke?" She asked irritably. If this wasn't good, violence would ensue. She smiled in satisfaction when he stopped laughing and clutched his side in pain.

"Nice moves." He conceded before continuing. "Look, I think this is all some kind of misunderstanding." He slowly pulled out his wallet and showed her his private investigators badge and ID.

"My name's Conner, Conner Reilly. I opened this place up to honor Angel, not do whatever it was you thought I was doing."

She stared at the badge, a little surprised. He really was a detective!

"I have super-powers." He confessed.

Buffy rubbed her bruised left cheek. "Ya think?" She asked bitterly.

Conner blushed. "A couple of years ago, this van slammed into me while I was walking across my driveway. It pinned me against the garage, then sped off. I wasn't hurt, like, at all. Which is freaky weird, right? So this friend of the family suggested we talk to the experts in freaky and weird: Angel Investigations."

Buffy nodded in understanding. "He helped you out."

"Yep. Turns out, some demon wanted me dead because of a prophecy that said I was gonna kill him."

The Slayer winced in sympathy. "Oh, that sucks."

"You have no idea." Conner said dryly. "Anyway, Angel trained me so that when I fought Sahjon, the demon from the prophecy, I wouldn't be pummeled to death and die."

Conner pulled out a picture from his wallet and held it out. It was of him and Angel. Angel was, if you could believe it, grinning like an idiot, while the two of them struck manly poses for the camera. Buffy took the photo and stared at it like it was some kinda puzzle that needed to be solved but was impossible to do so because it was illustrated in balloon animals from another planet.

Conner smirked knowingly. "Yeah I know. He definitely doesn't seem like the kind of guy for that sort of thing." His smirk faded and he grew serious. "That was the day he disappeared."

"He went and saw you?" Buffy asked in surprise.

"Yeah. We..." Conner turned away. "When he trained me, we got close."

She looked at the photograph. "I guess so."

Angel seemed so happy. Happier than she'd ever seen him. Which was good, she supposed, but if he got any happier, he'd go evil and kill everyone. Buffy handed the photo back.

"I'm sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusions." She told him.

He shrugged the apology off a little awkwardly. "Don't worry about it. I would've thought the same thing, probably. Besides," Conner grinned roguishly. "I haven't enjoyed a fight that much in months."

Buffy returned the grin.

Suddenly, the front door slammed open and Willow and Xander flooded into the room. The pair jumped in front of Buffy. Xander expertly wielded a sword and Willow sparked her hands.

"Stay back, you scummy demon!" Xander yelled.

"Or else I'll... I'll flambe you!" Willow threatened with vigor.

Conner looked past them to Buffy, who was staring back.

"Careful Buffy, I think he's about to attack!" Xander warned her.

Buffy and Conner burst out laughing.

"Uh... Buffy? What's going on?" Willow asked.

"It's some kind of laughing gas! Quick, Willow! Hold your breath!" Xander inhaled deeply and held it, causing Buffy to laugh even harder.

The pain in his side enabled Conner to gain some measure of control, but that failed as soon as he saw Xander resolutely turning purple and waving his sword at him.

Willow frowned. She wasn't laughing. She pointed that out to Xander, but he just stared at her blankly.

"What's going on Buffy?" She asked again.

"Conner's a friend of Angel's."

Xander exhaled, then swayed a little. "He has friends?" Xander asked when he caught his breath.

Buffy rolled her eyes and made the introductions. Conner shook Xander's hand amiably enough, but gave Willow an odd look before before shaking hers.

"It's a pleasure to meet you both." Conner held his arms out wide. "Welcome to the new and improved Angel Investigations. The "improved" part comes with an actual investigator's license." He said proudly. "Why don't I give you the nickel tour?"

-

Five minutes later.

"I want my nickel back." Xander joked. "Though gotta say, it's better than Giles' apartment."

"But not as good as the Magic Box." Willow critiqued before realizing how rude that sounded. "Oh! But not that this is bad! No, it's good. Swell even. I... I like the walls. They're all... wall-y." She finished lamely.

Conner blinked at her. "Um... Thanks." He turned to Buffy. "So anyway, why did you want the codex?"

He'd led them into his office, the one adjoining the reception room, and was sitting behind his desk. Buffy and Willow sat in the chairs in front of him, while Xander snooped. The office was decorated with some fairly strange things. There were photos of him and his friends, a copy of his license, ancient weapons, trophies from what we can only assume are past cases, and a lava lamp.

Buffy considered how to answer the question, but Xander beat her to it.

"The book used to belong to the Watcher's Council until one of the watchers defected to Wolfram and Hart." He said, while poking a rubbery looking mask thing. "I wouldn't mind knowing how you got it?"

"I inherited it." Conner told them. Xander nodded. He could buy that. For now anyway. "So are you guys representing the Council in any kind of official capacity?" The young detective wondered, "Or were you just banking on Buffy's skills as a cat burglar?" He asked, smirking at Buffy.

She gave him a mocking smile. "Yeah. We're representing the Council."

Conner sat back in his chair. "What are you offering for it?"

"Access to our online library." Willow told him. "If you can't find something using your books, you could use ours. Most of the books we got have been scanned into a computer, and are available to any watcher or slayer."

Conner nodded. "Not bad. What else?"

"Ya need more?" Willow asked, a little put out.

He shrugged.

"How about a job?" Buffy offered.

He grinned. "But I already have one of those. Detective agency, remember?"

"Yeah, but you haven't heard our sales pitch." She frowned and turned to Xander. "What's our sales pitch?"

Xander rolled his eye in fond exasperation, while Willow giggled, and Conner smirked.

"If you pass our background check," He started, "we're prepared to offer you pretty much anything. Weapons, personnel, resources, magic gourds, you name it. If we got it, you got access to it."

Conner was impressed. That was a good deal, but there were some concerns.

"If I do sign up with you guys, how autonomous would I be?"

Xander shrugged. "If you screw up, and I mean badly, you'll have to answer to us."

Willow smiled reassuringly at Conner. "But if that happened, we'd also be there to help you fix it."

Xander nodded. "Otherwise, you'll have complete autonomy. No watchers or nuthin. Unless you want one."

"What about a slayer? I could use a slayer." Conner said.

The three Council representatives looked at each other, then shrugged.

"Sure why not?", "I don't see a problem with it.", "Okay." They all said at once.

"Awsome! Can it be Faith?" Conner asked eagerly. Buffy wanted to know how he knew Faith, causing the young man to blush. "I, uh, Heh. I met her once, while I was training with Angel. But she wouldn't remember me."

Willow snorted. "That's totally Faith alright."

Unfortunately for Conner, Faith was in Cleveland, watching the Hellmouth there. He deflated a bit upon hearing that.

"But still, it'd be cool having some super-powered backup." He reasoned. "Jackie, my best friend, that's her desk out there, always wants to help. And I'm cool with that, really, but I don't want her getting hurt. If there were two super-freaks with her, the chances of that happening go way down."

"Plus slayers are always mega-hot." Xander added.

"That is a plus." Conner agreed.

The detective leaned forward on his desk and considered the offer.

"So, how much do you guys pay?" He asked, smiling.

And with that, Conner Reilly agreed to become the newest member of the International Watcher's Council.

A thorough background check was performed and, save for his powers, nothing odd was found. Once that was settled, a Council solicitor arrived to hammer out a contract. Conner would keep his business open, and the Council would pay him whenever they had need of his services. In return, he'd have access to everything Buffy and company promised.

As for teaming him up with a slayer, there was a young girl, aged sixteen, who was called fairly recently, living in LA. A watcher had been dispatched to help her, but she could definitely benefit from having some super-powered backup. Not to mention someone to spar with without having to worry about breaking delicate watcher bones. Pluses for everybody.

But all that was later. Now, the Scoobies sat in Conner's office. He agreed to loan them the book with the strict promise to call him if they needed extra muscle. And as long as they didn't have to fly off to Tasmania, or someplace equally not in LA, they would.

The gang took the book, with thanks, and said their farewells.

Once they got back to the hotel, Willow opened the Dalthezar Codex, and everyone hunkered down for a good old fashioned research party.

"Crap." Buffy said after a few minutes, prompting her friends to raise their heads questioningly. "We should've asked Conner if he knew anything about the Destroyer."


	4. History, the Past, and in Between

Dalthezar's codex had nothing to say regarding the current location of the compass. However, it did indeed contain it's history. Or at least a reasonable facsimile.

The compass was, for lack of a better term, created by an unknown seaman, and was to be used for used for the finding of more direct trade routes. Mundane, you say? And if you were to disregard the fact this sailor had sacrificed what he most desired in order to create this device, then you'd be right.

The sailor had only wanted to shorten his time at sea, so he could spend more time with his beloved. He prayed for a way to do this, and was answered with the compass. The compass, he found, did not point north, but to where he most wanted to go. He thanked his gods for their kindness and generosity.

He needn't have bothered.

You see, his prayers were not answered by his gods, for gods do not cater to the whims of mortals. At least, not the ones he worshipped. No, his prayers were heard by another. A being older than any deity, creature, or demon. This being heard his prayer, felt the desire in it, and was amused. The being consulted with It's dark twin and together, they created his compass.

The being, Desire, gifted the mortal with what he wanted. It's dark twin, Despair, devised the price.

In one fell night, the sailor gained a way to find what he wanted most, only to lose it forever. The sailor returned home and discovered his beloved in the arms of another. He killed them both in a crime of passion. The law saw his love's sins and found him to be in the right. There would be no repercussions. The sailor was free to return to the sea, the only love remaining to him.

But he could not bring himself to leave their house. Every night, the man dreamed of his beloved's face. He would see her pleasing smile, the lovely curves of her flesh. And every morning, he would awaken to feel the agonizing loss her absence from their bed caused. He understood that it was he who cost him his love, that it was his long voyages what drove her into the arms of another man, and he knew that he could've forgiven her had he not been so passionate.

The man looked into his wife's mirror and felt despair ensnare his heart.

He died. After twenty long years of anguish and grief, only then did his end come. His possessions were claimed by his government and sold. Thus, the compass came into the ownership of another. A young tinkerer who purchased it, for a criminally small amount given what it does, with the hopes of repairing it, and selling it for a profit. And he did profit, though perhaps not in the way he imagined.

Once he realized it's true function, the tinkerer followed it to his heart's desire, a woman, and claimed her as his own. Together, they raised a large family and the tinkerer died a happy man. The compass, along with all his worldly goods, were passed on to his eldest son.

This son, who dreamed of a life on the sea, knew the function of the compass well, for the story of how his parents met was told to him many times. Once he settled his family's affairs, he kissed his sisters goodbye, shook the hands of his brothers, opened the compass, and left.

We do not know what became of him, only that the compass resurfaced a hundred years later in Europe. It was found by a king. Or it was brought to him. At any rate, the compass was his. This king was stupid and believed the compass to be a prophet of sorts. He ignored the responsibilities of his station, and followed his heart's desires.

When the compass lead to the edge of his kingdom, the king dismissed his entourage, disrobed, and crossed his border. Alone and disguised, the king was pleased. (For he thought he was being clever. After all, who would hurt a beggar?) He journeyed for two days, and was promptly killed by bandits. (That's who.) The bandits used the compass to amass a great fortune, and a large amount of enemies. The leader of the bandits was no fool. He spoke to no-one, not even his trusted lieutenants about this compass.

He may not have been a fool, but he was terribly vain. It vexed him that his greatest treasure would be unknown. The leader thought on it for a time, then came to an obvious conclusion. He would chronicle his exploits! He would tell of his rise to power, of the arrival of the compass that had become his emblem, and how his bandits would reign forever! Once the tale was written, he hid the tome in a secret place, only to be read by his descendants.

His enemies, in order to learn how he became so powerful, sent to him a spy in the form of a concubine. This concubine-spy was favored by the bandit leader for her beauty and insatiable lust. What he didn't know was, every night after she tired him out, she would go through his things and report back to her masters on what was discovered.

One night, she found the chronicles and read them. Through this, she learned of the compass's strange gift and coveted it for herself. She stayed with the bandit leader in defiance of her masters. The concubine, now no longer spy, searched for the compass, instead of secrets, each night. Eventually she found it, though by then it had become too late. The concubine's belly grew fat with the bandit leader's child. There were two options left to her. Leave with the treasure she searched so hard for, and risk her child's life. Or stay, and be assured the child would have the protection of an entire band of loyal thieves. And loyal they were, for their leader had made them all rich. The concubine considered the life inside her, and stayed. Besides, her new husband was pleasing to look at and excellent in bed.

The child was born a girl, and the bandit leader rejoiced. Though not a proper heir, she was his. The child was trained in her parents arts. She learned of thievery from her father, and how to manipulate men from her mother. The child grew into a striking woman, one who had earned the respect and admiration of many of her father's men. She had no brothers, and so when it came time for Death to claim her father, it fell to her to lead the bandits.

Her mother gave her guidance, and when she discovered the compass for herself, she turned to her. Her advice was simple. Use the compass, or do not. When she asked what she should do with it, her mother told the story of how she came to meet her father. The daughter was shocked of course, and asked why she had disobeyed her former masters. Her mother smiled, and took the compass in her hands. The needle swiveled north. The mother already had what she wanted and, for her, the compass was just a compass.

The daughter took back her inheritance, and the needle swiveled elsewhere. At least once a day, she opened the device and stared at it. Finally, after many weeks of deliberation, she announced she would leave her bandits, and appointed her most trusted friend to succeed her. She had one last drink with the men, bade her mother goodbye, opened the compass, and left.

In her travels, she met many people. People she could trust, people she could hate, and even people she could love. And yet, no matter where she stopped, nor with whom, after a time the compass would always change it's direction. The woman wracked her mind with the oddness of it all. For her father, it showed him where there were treasures. For her mother, it showed north because she was content and desired nothing truly. But for her...?

The woman traveled for seven years before she came to an understanding. The compass kept changing it's direction for her, because she wanted to always see new things, new people. The woman watched as the sun rose, and felt peace. She didn't need the compass, not anymore. She climbed a high mountain, and flung the device as far as she could.

-

Willow stopped reading, and closed the book. Xander was rubbing his chin, and Buffy blinked in surprise.

"That's it?" she asked. "What happened next?"

Willow smiled. "It's not a story Buffy. At least, not the kind with an ending." With that, the witch got up and grabbed a bottle of water.

Buffy shook her head. "I thought the book was supposed to help us find the compass, right?" She asked Xander.

He shrugged unhelpfully. "That's what Lorne said."

"So shouldn't there be more stuff about it in there?" She gestured to the book.

Willow sat down and gave her friend a patient look. "There is. I just wanted something to drink. All this talking is making my throat hurt."

Buffy blushed. "Oh."

Willow sipped her beverage, opened the book, and continued.

-

It is uncertain what happened to Desire's compass immediately after that. We only know it wasn't destroyed, for it reappeared in the hands of a demon some sixty years later. The demon was an angry, stupid, and belligerent beast, and could not understand the subtleties of such a tool. Through this creature though, the compass came to it's most famous master.

A band of Vatican supported demon hunters killed that demon and brought it's possessions to a remote church for cleansing. If the hunters ever discovered the compass's true ability, they never spoke of it. The compass was left at the church, where it stayed for over a century.

Until the pirate, Jack Sparrow.

Young Sparrow was on the run from the Queen's army, and took up the robes of a vicar to disguise himself. Needless to say, he made a very poor one. The oft-drunk Jack was being chased by the town's people, (It was something to do with the taking advantage of young ladies and the disappearance of much of the town's shiny valuables.) when he escaped to a distant and isolated church, seeking sanctuary.

The kind vicar, recognizing, not the future pirate, but his robes instead, gave him the protection he sought. There Sparrow stayed for a fortnight in what might possibly be the dullest time he's ever endured. His suffering bore fruit however, when he laid eyes upon the compass.

Having read the chronicles of the bandit leader, Jack knew what it was he was looking at. A compass that pointed, not north, but to your heart's desire. He inquired after it, wondering how such a wonder arrived at so innocuous a church. Unfortunately, any records were destroyed, and myth and legend replaced them. (Had he the foresight, or inclination to do so, he might have asked Rome, as the Vatican supported demon hunters reported directly to them, and their records were slightly better than a distant and isolated church's.)

When he felt enough time had passed, Jack took the compass and stole away into the night. He opened it up, and followed the needle towards his destiny. Much like the bandit leader, Jack used the compass to attain a small fortune. Fortune enough to purchase a ship. (We say he purchased a ship, and that may be true from a certain perspective, but the former owners felt otherwise. If you were to ask Jack, he would tell you the trade was fair and it wasn't his fault they didn't like pigs.)

With his new ship, the Black Pearl, Jack was able to introduce himself as "Captain", and he was free. Free to go where he liked, do what he wished, and all of it away from the Queen's oppressive rule! This is what the compass promised him, truly, for while aboard his ship, it pointed north. Unless he was after a treasure of course.

But alas, it was a freedom that was all too short. He got careless. Impossible to believe I'm sure, but it's true. Captain Jack Sparrow became an arrogant braggart, completely confident of his ability to overcome, and out run, any vessel in the ocean. His conceit lost him his ship. It was sunk after a battle with the Royal Navy. He was rescued by an East India Co. ship and, when he attempted to commandeer it, was branded as a pirate and tossed overboard.

It is unclear what happened next. Legend purports Captain Sparrow tamed a large fish and convinced it to ferry him towards land. Other theorize he crafted a small raft out of the remains of his ship and the corpses of his fellows, then sailed it to safety.

Regardless, Captain Jack Sparrow survived the sinking of his ship and made it to land. There he "acquired" a seaworthy vessel and set out after the only being on earth that could help him get his ship back.

Davy Jones, captain of the feared Flying Dutchman.

Using his compass, Captain Sparrow found the mythical seaman and secured an agreement. Davy Jones then resurrected the Black Pearl from the depths of his locker. With his ship back, he again set sail upon the seas he did so love.

But alas, this borrowed time with the Pearl was all too short. His first officer, one Hector Barbossa, encouraged the crew to mutiny, and stranded the poor Captain Sparrow on an island.

It is unclear what happened next. Some say he roped together two sea-turtles and rode them home, others believed he was able to build a small craft out of wood from trees on the island and wove a sail out of leaves to sail to land.

Regardless, Captain Sparrow escaped the island and made it to land. There, with the aid of one William Turner, and one Elizabeth Swan, he recaptured the Pearl and was again it's captain.

Until he welched on his deal with Davy Jones and was eaten by the kraken, his ship along with him.

It is unclear what happened next. Some say there was a fantastic voyage to the end of the world to rescue he and the Pearl from Davy Jones' locker, other never believed a kraken existed at all, and therefore, Captain Sparrow was making it all up.

Regardless, Captain Sparrow resurfaced, only to lose control of his ship once more. It was again taken by Barbossa.

This time however, Sparrow had decided against pursuit of the Black Pearl. Perhaps he no longer considered her worth the risk, perhaps he felt he would get her back in time, we don't know.

What we do know is this; Sparrow went to Florida. There he used his remarkable compass to search for the Spring of Life. And there is where Sparrow's trail ends, and we will hear no more of him.

-

"What?" Buffy exclaimed in mild outrage. "That can't be it! We already checked out Florida, and all we found were, like, monster-sized snakes!"

Xander chuckled, remember Buffy's reaction to those snakes.

Willow sighed. "True, that's all we hear of Captain Jack, but there's more about the compass."

Buffy blushed. "Oh."

Willow primly sipped her water, then continued.

-

No definitive sightings of the compass were ever reported again.

-

"Ha!" Buffy cried triumphantly. Willow stared at her flatly, then stood up to get some advil. Xander gave her a look. "What?" She asked him defensively.

"Nothing."

"Nuh-uh. There was definitely something to that look." She decided.

"It's just, ever since we called Conner back, you've been pissy."

She glanced around to see if Willow was in earshot.

"Conner said he was the Destroyer. That demon from the shop said the Destroyer killed something that might know about a weird vampire that may have a soul. And we're going to be talking to him about it!"

"Yeah," Xander said sarcastically, "I can see why that might make you upset."

"I just... need answers, that's all." Buffy hugged herself.

Xander scooted over and put his arm around her comfortingly. "Don't worry Buff, you'll get em. Even if I have to get shot by every demon in town."

She barked a laugh and poked him in the ribs. "Oh don't even joke."

He winced. "Y'know, nails make very good stabbing weapons. Have you ever noticed that?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Please, I didn't even put any slayer-strength into it."

"For which I am eternally grateful." He offered sincerely.

Willow sat down and heard the last bit. "Why are you grateful?" She asked.

"Because Buffy didn't impale me with her finger." Xander said while Buffy helpfully displayed her digit to Will in case she didn't know what a finger was.

Willow rubbed the sides of her head and prayed the advil worked quickly.

"Are you okay?" Xander asked, noticing Willow's discomfort.

She waved off his concern. "I'm fine. Just a little headache-y, y'know?"

"If you want, we can finish this up later?" Buffy suggested.

"Yeah, me and the Buffinater can go get our mealing on while you rest up."

The girls gave him a weird look. "Mealing?" Willow asked.

"Yeah, "mealing'." He defended. They rolled their eyes at him, causing Xander to rage on. "Hey, it's not any dumber than half the crap you guys come up with, Miss Adds-a-y-at-the-end-of-everything." Buffy chuckled and Xander glared at her. "Let's not talk, Miss Can-never-ever-pronounce-anything-right!"

The angry Scooby folded his arms and turned his nose up at his friends.

"We're sorry." Buffy said, obviously trying not to laugh.

"Yeah," Willow agreed, pretty much trying not to either. "Mealing is a good word."

Xander was slightly mollified. "Okay, fine. But don't let it happen again. I have the same right as every American citizen; to brutalize the english language as I see fit. Giles said so!"

"Of course you do." Willow said seriously. "I'm sure Giles thinks you brutalize that english the best out of everybody."

Buffy nodded enthusiastically.

"Oh now you're just patronizing me." Xander pouted.

That was the last straw. The girls saw his little-pouty face and laughed uproariously.

Inwardly, Xander was grinning. If he could only bottle that sound, he'd make a billion bucks. Nothing was better than the sound of his girls laughing.

Once Willow had recovered enough to continue, (It was tough, as Xander kept making huffy noises.) she told them what else Dalthezar's codex had to say. Unfortunately, once they got past Sparrow's bit, there wasn't too much else. There was an engraving of the compass, and it mentions some rumors, but that was it.

Willow divvied up the rumors amongst the three of them for researching. Buffy would check out the internet, Xander would make the calls, and Willow would use the data base.

After a few hours, Buffy found something interesting. One of the rumors mentioned the compass might've turned up in the private collection of a now dead rich guy. After he died, his collection was said to have been donated to a museum. Buffy was currently looking at the museum's current exhibits.

On the website, the museum boasts an exceptionally large collection of interesting historical artifacts. Interesting as in mystical, that is. Buffy perused the museums online photographic data base. Lo and behold, there it was!

"Guys! I found it!" She exclaimed ecstatically. Willow and Xander rushed over and looked over her shoulder. "Who rocks?" She asked smugly.

"Oh, totally you!" Willow said happily once she saw the photograph.

"Yeah, but it's in a museum." Xander pointed out. "We can't exactly go and steal it, can we?"

The girls visibly deflated. They hadn't thought of that.

Willow went back to her computer and went to the website. She wanted to learn more about the museum itself before giving up all hope. Maybe Giles would be able to convince them to sell it to the Council, or better yet, trade it for one of the more harmless artifacts in the vaults.

Meanwhile, Buffy went off to meet with Conner to ask him about the sorcerer he killed. He didn't have any idea what the the sorcerer might've known. The young man admitted they only fought because the guy was trying to sacrifice a baby. He did investigate further though, and found out the sorcerer belonged to a cult that worshipped Rangda: Demon Queen, Child-Eater. Maybe this odd vampire had a vendetta or, at least, an interest in them. The detective promised he'd do more research, and when he found something, he'd let her know. Buffy promised the same.

By the time she returned to the hotel, Willow found out who ran the museum. An entrepreneur by the name of Henry van Statten. Willow recognized the name. He was the broadband guy! Holy crap, was he rich! They probably wouldn't be able to buy the compass off of him, but they might still be able to trade. She dug deeper, wanting to find out if this man had a personal collection as well as the public museum. The hacker/witch encountered some seriously devious firewalls. They were even worse than the ones from the Pentagon!

Willow furrowed her brow, and used her magic to dig deeper.

"Oh my God!" She shouted once she was in.

"What?" Xander asked, alarmed.

"The stuff this guy has, it's... it's impossible!"

Buffy frowned. "What do you mean?"

Willow shook her head. "I can't get my head around it. It's too much."

"Will, what is it? You're giving me a wig here." Xander told her.

"He's... He's got stuff. Alien stuff." Willow said faintly.

"WHAT?" Buffy and Xander simultaneously blurted, right before they rushed over to her.

Xander read the inventory list on the screen. "What the hell is a Slitheen?"

"Sounds demon-y." Buffy noted.

"Sure." Willow conceded, "But what about "Robotic head"? That doesn't sound so demonic, does it?"

Xander shrugged. "Maybe it's from Moloch, or Warren?"

Willow glowered. Both those names had unpleasant associations. "You aren't looking at it Xander." She said testily. "I am. It's nothing like we've seen. And there're other stuff too."

Buffy read the list. "Like a "Tandarian Solar Device"? What's that?" She asked Willow.

She shrugged. "No clue."

"What about the "Zatnickletell?" He frowned, trying to muscle his way through the odd word.

"Still no clue." Willow said.

"Yeah, but you brought up the list. Doesn't it give a description?" Xander asked.

"Item number 6582. The Telebiogenisis Conductor: Found in Hinesville, Georgia in 1998."

"What?" Buffy asked, confused.

"That's all they say. It's just a name, and where and when they were found. So stop asking me about them!" Willow demanded a little harshly. She just found out there's definitely life on other planets, so it's kinda forgivable.

A few minutes went by before anyone said anything else.

Willow disconnected herself from the computer, shuddering. "Oh god." She whispered.

"What?" Buffy asked quietly, unsure if she wanted to know the answer.

"He's got a bunch of stuff that's on the Council's black list."

That got Xander's attention. "How much stuff?"

"Only almost all of whatever isn't in the vaults right now."

Xander sat down limply. "Save me Jebus."

"Okay, is the black list what I think it is?" Buffy asked, again not wanting to know the answer.

"Do you think it's a list of all the world ending and ridiculously powerful and dangerous items still not safely contained or destroyed?" Willow questioned. Buffy nodded. "Congratulations Buffy, you're right."

"Go me." She sighed unhappily.

-

There was really only one thing for it. If Henry van Statten understood, or at least knew something about everything in his private collection, then it was reasonable to believe he also knew what they were for. It was highly unlikely that van Statten had anything nefarious planned,(As the world had yet to end do to the release of the Hate of the Nephilim, or the activation of the Doomstone, and he hasn't dominated the will of others using the absurdly named, though powerful, Willwand.) but the Watcher's Council just couldn't take that chance.

Xander called Giles to report on what they've discovered and to see what they could do about it. After careful deliberation, it was decided to forgo any form of negotiations and confiscate any and all dangerous magical items. Giles went through the proper channels and informed the American government of their plans. The government agreed, and gave the Council it's full cooperation. They would help the best way they could. By staying out of it.

With everything ready, the gang headed off to Utah, where Willow began probing the bunker underneath the van Statten museum to see what kind of magical defenses there were.

While Willow was doing that, Xander took Buffy aside.

"What's up?" He asked her. She'd been forlorn and distant ever since leaving Los Angeles.

Buffy sighed. "I just thought..." She trailed off.

"You just thought once you talked to Conner about that weird vamp, you'd be another step closer to Angel." Xander correctly finished.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. Stupid, huh?"

He shrugged. "Not really. Don't worry, we'll find him."

"How do you know?"

Xander smiled at her warmly. "I don't. But I do know his chances are pretty good."

"Really." She said flatly. "Do tell."

"He's got you on his side."

Buffy blinked. "Oh. My. God. That has to be the sappiest thing I've ever heard a real person say."

He shrugged again. "I guess I left all my A material back in the hotel."

She rolled her eyes at him, but as they walked back to Willow, she didn't seem to be in as bad a mood as before. He decided it counted it as a victory.

After a few moments, Willow got a strange look on her face. She ceased her probing and frowned.

"Nothing." She said. "There's nothing."

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

"There's no magical defenses of any kind. I could just teleport us in, and out, before they even knew about it."

Xander and Buffy exchanged surprised glances.

"I don't get it." Xander said. "How can this guy have all this dangerous stuff, and not have protection?"

Buffy's eyes widened in horrified realization. "He doesn't know." She whispered.

"What?" Willow asked.

"This guy has no idea what the hell he's got!" Buffy said franticly. "He has no idea how dangerous those things are!"

Willow stared at her disbelief. "No. No way! He's got to know about magic! Why else would he even have any mystical stuff?"

"Maybe he doesn't think they are mystical." Xander said. "Think about it. The guy's got a whole bunker full of alien tech. Technology. Science. How could he believe in magic? He probably thinks they're just artifacts. Sure, they're a little weirder looking, and their names are kinda funny, but who cares? They're valuable!"

Willow shook her head. "No. I know science and magic."

"Yeah, but you also lived on a hellmouth for sixteen years, and didn't know anything about the supernatural until Buffy showed up." Xander pointed out.

Willow blanched. "Oh my god. It's like a kid with his hand over the button!"

The gang decided they had to go in now. Xander called Giles to inform him of their suspicions. Needless to say, he was terribly disturbed at the thought. Though he didn't approve of the fact the Scoobies wanted to head in without backup, he certainly understood why.

The easiest way into the complex, was through the front door of the museum. Once inside, Willow would be able to cloak them. All they would have to do, is wait until a person with the proper clearance used the elevator that would bring them down to the lower levels. Despite the difficulty of cloaking three adults for an unknown period of time, Willow decided it would be safer than teleporting into a place she'd never been in. When they got to where all the dangerous magic stuff was, it would be a simple matter of looting the place. Willow would erect a shield while Buffy and Xander shoved everything into a couple of bags. Inelegant yes, but it would work. Most of the items would only activate after a ritual of some kind. As for the ones that worked by touch, or commands, well that's what smashing is for. Once they secured everything, Willow would teleport them out.

Simple right? Of course it didn't go anywhere near like that.

While they were walking in the museum, Buffy saw the compass. It wasn't even enclosed in glass. It was just sitting in a display with a bunch of other pirate stuff. She beckoned Willow to over to her side.

"We should take it." Buffy told her.

"That's stealing!" Willow whispered. Buffy gave her a look. "Which, okay, is what we're here to do. But the stuff we're after is dangerous. The compass isn't. It would be wrong to just take it cuz we want it." Buffy continued to give her a look. Willow sighed. "You're gonna steal it even without my help, aren't you?"

Buffy nodded cheerfully. Willow sighed again, then concentrated hard. "Okay. The security's blocked." Buffy looked around in a sad attempt at covert, then reached into the display and snatched the compass. She smiled happily at it for all of two seconds before the alarms went off.

"I thought you said you blocked the security!" Buffy screeched.

"Oops?"

"Crap!"

Xander came running in. "What the heck?" He saw what Buffy was holding. "Hey, is that the compass?" He looked, from the compass, to the display, and back. "Nuts."

Willow initiated her cloak, and the Scoobies hightailed it out of the room.

"You just had to have that thing, didn't you?" Xander snarked at Buffy once they made it into the elevator.

"Yes! Yes I did! This thing's going to help me find Angel!" She retorted.

Willow completely lost her concentration and the cloak slipped. "What? Angel? What's he got to do with anything?"

Buffy turned to answer her, but the elevator doors opened and she was distracted by a bunch of weapons being pointed at her.

The Scoobies looked at each other, then back to the weapons.

Willow blushed.

"Um, oops again?"

"Put your hands on your heads and exit the elevator!" One of the guards demanded. They did. "Now, get down on your knees!"

"Hey! Just what kind of girl do you think I am!" Buffy asked in mock outrage while taking stock of the guards and their weapons. There were six of them, each armed with an automatic rifle of some kind.

The guard blushed beet read. "Sh...shut up!"

Xander smirked. "Aw, look at that Buff, you got an admirer."

Willow beamed. "That's so cute!"

The guards were loosing their patience, and cocked their rifles. "If you don't shut the hell up right now, I'll shoot you in your pretty long legs." The leader told Buffy, getting in her face.

Buffy smiled a truly unpleasant smile.

Suddenly, the Slayer grabbed the assault rifle from his hands and ripped it off of the shoulder strap, dislocating the man's shoulder. She used the butt of it to knock him senseless.

Before any of the other guards could react, Xander tackled another, taking him down and claiming the rifle as his own.

Willow chanted, and then the weapons were too hot to handle. Buffy and Xander, along with all the guards, dropped the now scalding guns.

Buffy shrugged. "Never liked those things anyway." She cracked her knuckles and smiled prettily. "I prefer the melee."

Xander came out of nowhere and slugged one of the guards, knocking him right out. Buffy took care of the rest. They went down, and it was all over.

Except for the clapping that is.

"Bravo. Those were my best men." A man with a thick southern accent complimented. "So, who the hell are you kids?" He asked jovially. "I ain't ever seen any girl move as fast as you did, Blondie."

Buffy folded her arms. "Mr. van Statten, I presume."

"At your service."

Xander grinned. "Well in that case. Why don't you lead us to your dangerous magical artifacts, and we'll be on our way?"

Van Statten laughed heartily. "Oh that's funny son. Damned funny. I like you."

Willow raised her hand. "Mr. van Statten?" She asked.

"What can I do for you honey?"

She scowled. "Well first of all, you could not call me that. And second, I just wanted to know if you understood exactly what it was you have collected five doors down on the right."

The older man's face darkened. "I imagine I understand more than you. Honey."

Xander snorted in amusement.

Willow bristled. "This is getting boring."

"Gotta agree with you there." Buffy admitted before shooting forwards.

Henry van Statten never even knew what hit him. Our three heroes stepped over his unconscious body, and headed down the hall.

"Well, he was an ass." Xander commented. "Doesn't make me feel so guilty about stealing from him."

"I know!" Willow gushed. "Did you hear him call me "honey"? Even after I told him not too? And what was calling Buffy "Blondie" all about anyway? Do people even talk like that anymore?"

"Asses do." Xander pointed out.

"Yeah! That ass!"

Buffy grinned at the familiar banter. This was really, really, fun. More fun than Dawn and the zombies!

The gang stopped in front of the room Willow said the artifacts were in. Buffy tried the door, but it was locked. Xander pulled out a lock-picking set, but Buffy just rolled her eyes and kicked the door in.

"Well sure, if you wanna do it the loud way." He sneered.

Before they could take another step however, a noise reverberated throughout the corridor.

Buffy and Xander whirled around, looking for the source.

Willow grimaced. "My tummy hurts." she told them before keeling over.

"Oh God!" Xander caught her before she could hit the ground. "Willow!"

Buffy stared down in horror as Willow's blood leaked from a hole in her side.

A troop of guards came rushing towards them. They aimed their weapons at Buffy and Xander and demanded they surrender.

Xander ignored them as he kept repeating "Oh God! Oh no!" over and over and in various ways.

Buffy screamed. It was an inarticulate, hateful sound, and one that promised pain for hurting her friend. The guards never even had a chance to fire another shot. Buffy was on them faster than the human eye could track, and fist that were meant to fight demons, rained down upon men with all the fury and force of a hurricane.

When it was done, the men were dead, and The Slayer stood alone.

Buffy looked down at her broken foes, and chocked back a sob. She didn't mean to kill them. It's just... Willow was hurt and they shot her and she had to stop them from shooting again so she jumped in and she... she...

She needed to get a grip! It wasn't like this was the first time! When the Knights of Byzantium attacked, Buffy was willing to, and did, kill to protect Dawn.

Buffy Summers forced down her feelings of guilt, and ran over to check on her friend.

"Willow!" She cried, kneeling next to her. The red-head opened her bleary eyes. "Oh God, Will!"

Willow looked down at her bloody side and let out a delirious little giggle. "It's kinda odd. And painful."

Xander picked gently picked her up. "We gotta go. I guarantee they weren't the last of them." He said, nodding to the deceased guards.

"Which way?" Buffy asked him.

"Well, the guards came from that way, so let's go the other." She nodded, and led the way.

They didn't get too far when Xander stopped. Willow passed out, and he needed a place to staunch the blood. Buffy kicked in a door and pushed some stuff off of a table.

"Will this do?" She asked.

"Watch the door, would ya?" He asked in leu of answering. Xander pulled out his pocket knife and cut of the cloth surrounding Willow's wound. He hissed. The bullet definitely penetrated. "God Will." He whispered. "We sure screwed all the pooches today, didn't we?"

"How is she?" Buffy asked from the door.

Xander took a shuddering breath. "We need a doctor."

Buffy pulled out the compass and stared at it with distaste. "Yeah? Well the nearest one's that way." She jabbed her thumb in a random direction.

Xander did what he could to dress the injury. "Are you sure It's not pointing to Angel?" He asked unkindly.

She didn't dignify that with a response. Instead, Buffy started looking around the room to see if anything could help.

"Xander!" She shrieked. Buffy ran up to him holding a device of some kind. "Look!"

"What? I'm kinda busy here." He was dressing her wound with scraps of his clothing.

"The card said this was some kinda healing device!"

"Seriously?" She nodded. "Lemme see that!" Xander grabbed the device and examined it.

It was circular, about the size of his palm, and there was some kind of ring on the back of it. Honestly, it looked a lot like one of those things with velcro on them you use to catch the fuzzy ball. He put it on and looked for the power button. It didn't have one. Xander shook it a couple of times.

Nothing.

He glared at it, wanting it to work so badly! Xander let out a snarl of frustration and tossed it away.

"Xander!" Buffy yelled.

"I have no idea how to turn that piece of junk on!"

Buffy picked the device up and, basically, repeated everything Xander did with it. Including throwing it in frustration. She looked at Willow, who was getting unnaturally pale.

"What're we gonna do?" She asked, crying softly.

Xander sighed heavily. "I don't know." He did everything he could for Willow, and it wasn't enough.

Without any better options, the two of them began to investigate the rest of van Statten's unique collection, hoping against hope, that they'll find a way to help their friend.

"Oh no," She said suddenly before running to the door. "They're coming!"

The Slayer looked out into the corridor, and saw at least twenty angry looking guards.

Buffy barricaded the door as best she could, using her super-strength to keep them out. It was temporary solution at best.

Any moment now, the guards could decide to open fire and tear her in two.

Xander looked at Willow's pale face, and Buffy's struggling back, and did something stupid. He reached out, grabbed the closest device, and began pushing buttons. He repeated the action with another device, and another, until everything got really, really, bright.

-

"Doctor!" Yelled a woman's voice. Was that Buffy? Did she need a doctor? No. It was Willow. Willow needed the doctor. But he couldn't get her one because they were stuck in a room underground with evil guards trying to kill them.

Xander realized someone was touching him. He began to struggle

"Woah there!" an english voice said. "Relax. You're safe now."

"Willow." He gasped, trying to open his eye.

"That the red-head?" He nodded. "Don't worry. My friend's a doctor. Well, practically a doctor anyway. Still, she's quite good. I think. She's just an intern, you see. Oh, and the blonde. Is she with you too? Great company you're keeping." The voice babbled.

Xander started coming around fully and looked up at the man talking to him.

"Who are you?" He asked.

The man grinned cheerfully. "I'm the Doctor."


End file.
